


So Many [Prop-Tony] Tropes, So Little Time

by Gibbs_yeah



Series: To Trope or Not to Trope [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergent, Civil War Team Captain America, Don't copy to another site, Tony Stark is not a good bro, Tony Tore the Avengers Apart, not Tony friendly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2020-04-23 04:12:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 52
Words: 32,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19143328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gibbs_yeah/pseuds/Gibbs_yeah
Summary: Here we are in the Endgame, and the Tony tropes are as stupid as ever. Let's look at a few.





	1. Tony's too smart to help with the time heist

**Author's Note:**

> These aren't canon compliant because none of the tropes are.

Apparently some folks have crafted an AU where Tony not only refuses to help with the time heist, he lectures about how it's the best thing for everyone. (Because, of course, he got his "second chance.") What if someone who has nothing left to lose decides that Tony, too, should feel the ache of loss?

***

Tony woke up in his usual chair. It was dark and quiet. He asked, "What time is it?"

Friday didn't answer. But Clint said, "Too late."

Tony tried to activate his emergency gauntlet, but when he looked down his watch wasn't on his wrist. He quickly checked and found that none of his equipment was on him or within reach. He said, "So...Legolas. Long time, no...see."

Clint said, "You know, I figured out a while ago how to kill you. When I was locked up on the Raft, listening to Wanda whimper every time that shock collar zapped her. After you told Ross about my family out of spite."

Tony swallowed and darted his eyes around the room. He couldn't see Barton anywhere.

Clint continued, "That was the first time you betrayed my family. I heard about the latest incident. You got your second chance, so you won't even TRY to help get everybody back."

Tony sat up and declared, "Thanos happened. People need to accept their losses and move the hell on with their lives."

Clint chuckled and said, "Well, Tony, you're going to get to practice what you preach."

Tony froze and asked, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Clint replied, "It means you now have a loss to accept. Two actually."

Tony leapt out of the chair and yelled, "What the hell did you do?"

Clint seemed to ignore the question. He said, "You know what I've been doing these last five years? I've been making sure that the bad people Thanos left behind can't hurt anyone else. I'm probably the best assassin still out there."

Tony gasped and fell back into his seat. He said, "You didn't---"

"No, I didn't," Clint confirmed. He continued, "Morgan and Pepper are starting new lives in another part of the world. So Morgan and Pepper are fine, and they'll continue to be fine---on one condition."

Tony asked, "What's the deal?"

Clint answered, "That they're dead to you. You never have contact again. You never know where they are, what they're doing, who they're becoming without you. Nothing. Ever."

Tony nodded and said, "Fine." He was already planning his search parameters. Friday would figure out where they'd been moved and...

Clint's voice seemed to sound right in Tony's ear as Clint said, "Don't even think about trying to find them on the sly, Tony. I know exactly how you operate. There are no second chances here. I'm probably saving their lives. Heads up, I'm not the only one who knows you can help and refuse to. And those guys, they don't usually let witnesses live."

Clint took a breath and said, "Funny how it works out. Thanos is dead. You're the only one I got left to punish, but I'm still saving innocent lives from your mistakes. So accept your loss and move the hell on with your life. I'll be watching."

When Tony turned to look, no one was there. He said, "Lights!"

In the bright cabin he couldn't find any sign that Clint had ever been there. Tony gulped and said, "Friday, track Barton. He can't have gotten far."

Friday said, "Clint Barton's whereabouts are unknown. He is not on the premises. Boss, no one's been here in the last 24 hours except you."

Tony frowned and said, "Pepper and Morgan?"

"Pepper Potts is no longer employed by Stark Industries, boss. No one with first or last name Morgan is associated with Stark Industries."

A chill went down Tony's spine. If Barton could do this to Friday...he couldn't risk looking for Pepper or Morgan. Ever.

Tony let his head fall into his hands as he listened to the quiet. And wondered if this was how half the world felt the moment after the Snap.


	2. Pepper threatens Team Cap

Apparently prop-Tony folks now suggest that Pepper would have Team Cap arrested at the funeral, or threaten and lecture them. This doesn't make sense, because TONY is the one who holds grudges. Pepper would have destroyed Tony years ago if she was the same kind of person. So instead, let's see what Pepper is really up to while Morgan and Happy are having their cheeseburger chat.

***

Pepper stopped under the trees and thought about what she'd overheard. Dr. Strange explaining to Peter Parker how Tony brought all of this on himself had brought a sense of relief that she didn't know she needed until she felt it.

A light, warm touch on her shoulder had her turning to stare at Steve Rogers. She could easily see the concern in his blue eyes.

He gestured toward Strange and Peter and asked, "Did you hear that?"

Pepper nodded and replied, "Is it horrible to say it makes me feel less guilty?"

Steve shook his head and said, "You deserve whatever peace you can find."

She smiled a little at that and said, "It was kind of you all to come---I know how much he hurt some of you."

Steve shrugged and said, "There's not much we can do, except be here for Morgan and you. And let you know you're not alone."

Pepper felt her eyes fill with tears as she slid into Steve's embrace. She murmured into his shoulder all her doubts and fears. Pepper let herself lean on Steve and grieve until she felt strong enough to move on.


	3. Tony's kid seeks revenge on Team Cap

It seems as though Morgan (or whatever the OC kid the writer comes up with) holds an unfounded grudge as well as Tony. Even though it's decades later, Morgan (or the OC kid) goes after Team Cap, but there's never a valid reason. Tony broke up the Avengers, Tony refused to call for help, Tony refused to turn around the ship...so there's nothing to blame Team Cap for. Let's look at a more realistic reason Morgan may seek out a member of Team Cap.

***

Steve shifted on his knees in the dirt to reach the next row of plants. He carefully snipped each rose that was just about to bloom and set it in the bucket of water beside him. Now and then he paused to take a sniff of a flower, remembering his special lady.

Morgan Stark, now 16, stood at the edge of the garden with her arms folded. She said, "I want to talk to you."

Steve sat back and considered his visitor. He was tempted to say, "Well, with that attitude maybe I don't want to talk to you." But he didn't. Instead he pushed himself to his feet and dusted off the knees of his worn jeans. He waved her to a nearby bench and asked, "What about?"

Morgan flung herself onto the seat with a scowl. She said, "Everyone's lying to me."

Steve frowned and asked, "About what?"

She replied, "About my dad. Mom and Happy and Uncle Rhodey go on and on about how great Dad was. And yeah, that's the way I remember him. But that's when I was a kid."

Steve sat next to Morgan and turned to face her as he asked, "And now?"

Morgan shifted on the bench and bit her lip. Then she said, "And now I want to know the truth. I've been---you know how Dad left that message right before he..."

"Yes," Steve answered as he gently touched Morgan's shoulder.

Morgan nodded and continued, "Well, turns out Dad had Jarvis and Friday record everything that happened anywhere he was. And I found the recordings."

Steve didn't know what to say to that, so he kept quiet.

"They're---God, he was AWFUL," Morgan said as she ran her hands through her dark hair. She continued, "He said such mean things to people and about them. He didn't care what anybody said or thought, HE had to be right. And when he was wrong...he got WORSE. He blamed everyone for things HE did. And now I KNOW. Now I know what he was really like but he's still my dad and I don't know...I don't know what to do."

Steve gathered Morgan up in a hug as she started to cry. He asked, "What do you want to do? Do you want to forget you ever saw those recordings?"

"No," Morgan said as she sat up and wiped her eyes. She continued, "No, I don't want to lie to myself."

Steve smiled as he realized that Morgan was more Pepper's daughter than Tony's. Pepper had always preferred honesty. He said, "Then I guess the only thing to do is figure out the truth. And maybe that truth is sometimes your dad was a real creep, but you still love him and he still loved you."

Morgan nodded and said, "I was hoping maybe you could help me understand. 'Cause it seems like even after everything he did to you and the others, you still were...kind to him. And I think that maybe that's something I need to learn how to do."

"All right," Steve said as he stood. He waved toward the flowers and continued, "But I've still go chores to do. So help me cut some more flowers---and watch out for the thorns."


	4. The Asgardians treat Team Cap like children and respect Tony

So, apparently another prop-Tony writer has decided to ignore the events of Age of Ultron and Civil War to pretend Team Cap would be shuffled off to Asgard by T'Challa and treated like unruly children by the Asgardians. It's truly ridiculous. Not only would the Asgardians be supremely unimpressed by "tiny, petty" Tony, but they would NEVER allow him to be part of any negotiations over the Accords. Besides the fact that there WERE no amendments, Tony's a known Oathbreaker---in Age of Ultron when he betrayed Thor by saying he was only going to study the scepter while he was instead using it to build Ultron. And again in Civil War, when he signed the Accords and broke them three times in the course of the film. Heimdall sees all, so let's see Heimdall show Tony who he really is.

***

Tony strutted along the corridors behind the warrior who had introduced himself as Heimdall. He glanced at the G-Men and Women behind him, then looked around at the empty spaces and said, "Got to say, not impressed by the welcome committee of one. I thought you people were all about the grand gestures and hospitality."

Heimdall looked over his shoulder and said, "Thor and the All-Father wanted to prepare an appopriate reception for you and your former brothers- and sisters-in-arms. They arrived only an hour ago."

"Yeah, make sure you keep an eye on THEM. They've gone rogue and who knows what they'll do if they're left unguarded. Those ungrateful bast---after ALL I did for them, they treated me like DIRT. Let me tell you---"

"I think you should save your complaints for the All-Father," Heimdall said. He gestured to the guards to open the doors to the throne room.

When Tony got into the room, his jaw dropped. Cap and the others were standing as a unit off to one side. They were dressed in Asgardian fighting clothes and armor, but all of them looked worn down and still recovering from their injuries. The witch swayed on her feet, pale and leaning on Clint.

Barnes wasn't in the group, but T'Challa was. That traitor, he was supposed to kick Captain Stuck Up's little crew out of Wakanda. Not JOIN them. Tony asked, "What the hell?"

Thor stepped out from the back of Cap's group and stood before the One-Eyed Wonder that must be Odin. Thor frowned at Tony and said, "Why are you here? Your government disregarded the All-Father's instructions on who to send for these negotiations."

Tony shrugged and said, "You got your lawyers and your pencil-pushers. Plus me, of course. The head of the Avengers---the REAL Avengers, not these rejects."

The All-Father's eye drifted over the group behind Tony. He said, "We will consider what answer this insult from Earth deserves. You deliver an Oathbreaker to speak for your people."

The murmurs behind Tony warned him that the suits were upset. He crossed his arms and again asked, "What the hell?"

Thor nodded as he said, "All of Asgard knows that you played me false and used Loki's scepter when you claimed you would do no more than study it."

He looked straight at Tony and continued, "You are a liar who cannot be trusted."

Tony squawked and said, "That was YEARS ago---"

"That was DAYS ago," Heimdall said as he stepped forward. He continued, "I see all, and I have seen you, Anthony Edward Stark. I saw you sign the Sokovia Accords. I saw you break them, with no hesitation and no remorse. YOU are a liar who cannot be trusted, then and now."

Tony pointed at Cap and shouted, "So is he! He LIED to me about my parents' murders---"

"We have discussed that matter with the Captain," Odin said. He continued, "Heimdall did not see a lie. Your captain did not know that the one called the Winter Soldier committed the deed. He did not tell you of the rumors surrounding your parents' deaths, yes. An omission and a failing. But not a lie and NOT the breaking of his word."

Tony scoffed and said, "You're all on HIS side."

Thor nodded and said, "Yes. Because Steven has proved himself worthy."

When Thor lifted Mjolnir, Tony froze. He watched as Thor walked over to Cap and held out the magic hammer. Thor said, "I KNOW you are worthy of Asgard's respect and Earth's trust. Now you must prove it."

Cap frowned and glanced around the room. Tony held his breath as Cap reached out and accepted the hammer, easily lifting it into the air.

Tony shook his head. He KNEW Cap couldn't lift that hammer. He said, "It's a trick. You couldn't budge the thing, same as everyone else."

Thor shook his head as Cap gently handed Mjolnir back to Thor. Thor said, "No, I saw him move it and stop. At the time it...concerned me, and I was glad Steven stopped before lifting it for all to see. But now I am proud to have such a worthy friend."

Tony barely noticed when two guards came to flank him. As they gripped Tony's arms, Odin said, "We banish the Oathbreaker from Asgard."

Odin gestured at the government group and continued, "But we will allow the negotiations to commence. Select someone to accompany the liar back to Earth and proclaim all you have seen here. And remember: We will be watching."

As Tony turned to leave, he saw other Asgardians escorting away Wanda and Sam. Probably to the hospital. 

He shuddered as he began to walk to the launch point. He wasn't sure what exactly would happen when the suit spilled the beans back on Earth. But Tony thought that maybe, he'd deserve it.


	5. The Avengers watch the Iron Man movies

You can tell the prop-Tony folks don't understand that he's one of the most privileged characters of the MCU (along with being the most obnoxious). In this trope, the Avengers watch the Iron Man films and are supposed to pity Tony because he's a poor, misunderstood woobie who's suffered SO MUCH. But what would the others REALLY think of Tony's actions in his films? (I list Civil War as an Iron Man film, because Tony had the same amount of screen time as the title character and way more lines and focus.)

***

Tony lounged in a recliner to the side of the big screen TV he'd set up for this special screening of the events of his life. He KNEW once the other Avengers realized how much he'd SUFFERED, they'd stop being mad at him for demanding they sign away their human rights with the Accords.

As the final image faded, Carol Danvers sat up straight and looked at the others. She shook her head and asked, "Is this for real? Did Stark really treat women that horribly ALL THE TIME? Even that poor kid's widowed aunt?"

Natasha rolled her eyes and said, "You saw how he treated me when I was hired undercover---and how he put Pepper in danger."

Sam's brow was furrowed as he said, "Man, that's criminal...Stark spent 17 YEARS not caring where his weapons went?"

Wanda clenched her fists and said, "We know that some of them went to Sokovia." Vision and Clint rested comforting hands on her shoulders.

Rhodey shook his head and said, "And he blackmailed that poor Spider Kid when he was 14. I swear, I didn't know that my team had a child soldier."

Scott said, "I can't wrap my head around the fact that he's kept everything for HIMSELF. Like, why are we still using coal and oil when there could be arc reactors? I've never even heard of one anywhere except at Stark's own properties."

Bruce sighed and said, "I know he's my friend, but right now I can't actually say I like him that much. What was his problem with that Hammer guy? Why behave like a bully and mock the guy for not being as smart or successful? It really makes you think..."

Steve nodded and said, "It's really a shame. Tony had a horrible few months in the desert. That kind of thing strips you down to your core. It's supposed to change your life. But for Tony, the only difference is that he stopped SELLING weapons and now doesn't drink as much. He's still as thoughtless and uncaring about how his words and actions affect other people."

As Tony snuck away, he heard Thor grimly say, "No wonder Mjolnir never found him worthy."


	6. Doctor Who approves of Tony not helping to reverse the Snap

This is one of those classic "X props Tony" tropes, even when X is known for hating the attitudes and actions that people like Tony exhibit. So pretending that the Doctor would be Team Iron Man is laughable. Let's see how she'd really react. (I'm going to use 13 and her team because they actually just dealt with an egomaniacal rich guy in their latest season.)

***

Yaz stepped out of the Tardis carrying a small glowing box. She looked at the lake and the house. She said, "This looks nice. Not at all like half the population got snapped away by a crazy person."

Ryan followed her and said, "You know how it is. Rich white blokes, they make sure the bad things don't happen to them. Or at least they never have to look at the mess." 

Graham nodded as he said, "It's a shame this Earth has it so bad. I'm glad we can do something about it."

The Doctor stepped out and locked the Tardis. She said, "I'm glad we were able to make the jump to help fix things. And OF COURSE we will." She shook her head and continued, "Who would think I'd ever think it was a good idea to kill half a universe?"

Yaz turned and asked, "So what are we going to do?"

The Doctor was using her sonic screwdriver to open a side door. She said, "Well, while that jammer you're holding keeps the computer on "pause" and Ryan and Graham keep an eye out, I'm going to program a few suggestions into the computer's design program. See, the people who are trying to fix things on this planet need a little technical help. They'd get it right by themselves eventually, but we need to speed things up a bit. So we're making sure that the person who lives here thinks he solved the puzzle."

Graham chuckled and asked, "Got a bit of an ego, has he?"

Ryan frowned and asked, "Why not just help the folks who are actually interested in saving everyone?"

The Doctor looked up and said, "Because this person MUST be involved. He MUST be on the final battlefield. There's only one way this universe is safe, so we have to make sure things go according to plan."

She didn't mention what this universe's Time Stone had already revealed: That this universe wouldn't be safe unless both Thanos AND Tony Stark were dead. She said, "Come on, Yaz. We'll be just a tick."

The Doctor programmed Friday to make certain alterations to Tony's designs to result in a functioning "time GPS." She also walked over to the sink and moved the photo with Peter to the exact spot to be splashed.

Yaz asked, "Why're you doing that?"

The Doctor shook her head and said, "This man doesn't care about the world at large. So we have to remind him that there were people he knew who disappeared."

Yaz frowned and said, "Ugh, he sounds worse than that bloke with the spiders."

The Doctor locked up the house and unlocked the Tardis. She'd done all she could. She said, "Believe me, HE IS."


	7. Team Cap kidnap Peter

More evidence of prop-Tony folks' delusions. Apparently because they feel bitter and hateful because Team Cap was right about the Accords, they pretend Team Cap is bitter and hateful toward Tony and kidnap Peter for revenge. Or for money, which is even more stupid. TONY is the one who is shown as petty, vengeful, and selfish. Let's see what an actual encounter between Peter and Team Cap would be like.

***

The quiet knock on Peter's door startled him out of cramming for his calculus final. He looked up and called, "Come in, May." She must have gotten home earlier than she expected.

The door opened and Peter gasped. Captain America and Black Widow walked into the room, both of them in hoodies and jeans and WOW they were actually in his room. Peter said, "Uh, hi. I, uh---"

Black Widow smirked and said, "Long time, no see."

Cap stepped forward and said, "We're here to warn you."

Peter scrambled up and said, "Someone's in danger?"

Widow nodded and said, "Yeah, kid---you. Keep your head down and your crime-fighting quiet, or you could end up someplace very nasty."

Peter asked, "You saying you want me to stop?"

Cap snorted and shared a look with Widow. He said, "It would be great if you waited until you were actually old enough to vote---or drive." He smiled and continued, "But I have a feeling that you're not the kind to look away when something bad is happening."

Peter looked down and nodded.

Widow walked up to him and said, "Then you MUST be careful. Thanks to the Accords, if Thaddeus Ross catches you, you'll disappear into an underwater prison for enhanced. No due process, no trial. You'll just be gone."

Peter's eyes widened as he said, "But that's..."

Cap nodded and said, "That's wrong, but that's what the Accords allow. So..." 

Widow pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Peter. She said, "These are the addresses of a few local safehouses if you ever need to hide. And the phone numbers of a few people you can trust not to turn you in."

Peter took the paper and looked up at them. He said, "I'm really sorry for...for everything." He was beginning to think he should be sorry for believing Mr. Stark without checking the facts. These Accords...they sounded pretty horrible.

Cap stepped forward and put a hand on Peter's shoulder. He said, "We're sorry too. You should NEVER have been at the airport. We didn't know there was a kid in the fight."

"Only Mr. Stark knew," Peter said as he remembered Mr. Stark making the comment about not knowing Peter's age. It looked like Mr. Stark had been lying to his own team as well as Peter.

He took a deep breath and said, "Thank you."

The two heroes smiled at him before leaving him with a lot to think about.


	8. Bucky stays behind in Siberia and starts to prop Tony

This is another trope that shows prop-Tony folks don't actually watch the films. Tony had beaten Bucky to the point he was barely conscious and couldn't move---Steve had to help Bucky stand. Remember, Tony lasered off Bucky's arm, which was connected to his brain just like a flesh limb. Then Tony shot Bucky in the back and kicked him in the head with an armored boot. But in this trope, Bucky stays in Siberia to "face the consequences." And inevitably props Tony. (And often ends up in a relationship with him. Why punish Bucky like that? Hasn't the poor man suffered enough?) Let's revisit the bunker to see just how impossible this trope would be.

***

Tony stared at Barnes laying on the concrete floor of the bunker. He wasn't moving. Had Tony---Had he actually MURDERED the man?

He could only admit to himself how relieved he was when Cap reached down and pulled Barnes up. As Cap wrapped Barnes' arm---Barnes' only remaining arm, thanks to Tony---around his shoulder, Tony frowned. Barnes should stay here, to face Tony and apologize for killing Tony's parents while under the mind control of Hydra after 70 years of torture in the scary chair in the other room. Because what is 70 years of torture and brain washing and almost being beaten to death compared to Tony's hurt feelings? Yeah, Barnes should stick around and go into shock from all the arm trauma and the head trauma so Tony can rant at him and then graciously forgive him. All while Tony never admits he was wrong to, you know, try to commit murder. Especially when he was trying to murder Barnes to punish Cap for siding with his old war buddy instead of the billionaire who insulted Cap every time they met and refused to listen to Cap but whatever. Barnes should have stayed. Then he would have OF COURSE fallen in love with Tony and they could have joined forces to hate and mock Cap.

But noooooo...Barnes had to go get medical treatment somewhere away from the guy who tried to murder him. Wimp.

Tony watched Cap take his friend and his shield and the certainty that at least CAP wasn't a murderous, immature bastard and head out without even a glance at Tony.

Well, at least Tony could be petty enough to make sure Cap didn't get to take EVERYTHING. Tony would make sure HE kept the shield at least.

But when Cap dropped the shield with a shrug and not even a look back, Tony spat blood and admitted he was nothing but a spiteful manchild who STILL didn't get his way.


	9. Harley and Peter team up to take revenge on Team Cap

How sick do you have to be to take innocent children and twist them into villains who would take revenge on Team Cap for Tony's death? Especially when Tony's death was Tony's own fault. It's creepy. And makes no sense, when you consider how horribly Tony treated both Harley and Peter. Let's look at their more likely conversation at the funeral.

***

"Hey," Peter said as he moved to stand next to the other young man at the funeral. "Um, I guess you knew Mr. Stark too?"

The young man looked over at Peter and said, "I don't know if I'd say that. I met him once 10 years ago."

Peter frowned and said, "Oh. I guess it must have been a memorable meeting."

The young man shrugged and said, "He called me a pussy for missing my dad, used my stuff and ate my food. I thought we had a connection, but he just flew off afterward. Left me a shed full of stuff, but what's stuff, you know?"

Peter nodded. He REALLY understood the whole "shower you with presents until Mr. Stark gets what he wants, then he disappears" routine. "Sounds kind of like what happened to me. Got stuff, did him a favor, only saw him when he got mad or needed help. And then he spent most of the time yelling at me and being kind of a dick."

The young man shrugged and said, "Yeah, that does sound familiar. I can't decide whether I'm here because I miss him, or because I wanted to be sure the bastard was really gone."

"Yeah," Peter said as he thought about exactly WHAT he felt toward Mr. Stark. It certainly wasn't all good. He repeated, "Yeah, I hear you."


	10. Loki and Tony team up to punish Team Cap (and have Loki fall in love with Tony)

This is one of those "It's not evil if Tony does it" tropes. Tony and Loki team up to punish Team Cap, usually for "betraying and abaondoning Tony." (The latest one pretends Tony couldn't have survived in Siberia with T'Challa RIGHT THERE, in a fully powered station and a suit that had backup generators that kicked in (started glowing) the moment the arc reactor failed. Do they realize that they make Tony look like the dumbest engineer on the planet when they do that?) Not only does this trope ignore Loki's character development, but it often also insists that Loki would fall in love with Tony "because Tony." Loki has better taste than that. Let's have him visit the bunker and see how he'd REALLY behave.

***

Tony sat up and stared at the shield on the floor. He said to himself, "You're gonna regret choosing that psycho-robot over me."

Loki materialized and said, "I doubt it."

Tony looked at the Asgardian a moment, then said, "You should be as mad at Captain Stuck-Up as I am. You could give me an assist, show all those bozos not to mess with Loki."

Loki smirked and said, "And Iron Man, of course."

Tony nodded and said, "Of course." He could already imagine the trouble the two of them could cause for Team Cap. He said, "And I bet you know exactly where all of those bastards are right at this moment." 

Loki nodded and said, "Yes, I do."

Tony smirked. This was perfect. He would get back at all of them for not signing away their civil rights on Tony's say-so. There WOULD be amendments. Well, probably. Maybe. After all, he was Tony Stark. If he said it would happen, it would happen. So what if 117 countries already signed the agreement---if he told them to amend, they'd amend it. Right? Right. And Cap was wrong to ABANDON Tony here in the FROZEN WASTELAND. So what if there was still working tech and he could call for a ride and his suit had back-up power that would keep him warm. He was in MORTAL DANGER, okay? And so what if he has to use a villain to get his revenge? TOTALLY justified.

Loki walked around Tony as Loki asked, "But why would I help you? YOU were the one who insulted and taunted me during our every encounter. You were the one who attacked men who had already sheathed their weapons or fallen in battle. And YOU were the one who exposed the archer's innocent wife and children to an enemy. Even I have not stooped so low. I may find the good captain stiff and unyielding, but he has never been such a vile creature as you."

Loki lifted his hand to magic himself away, but first he said, "I would never help you, worm. In fact, I will shield---ha!---the captain's people from your primitive technology. The only way you will find them is if they want to be found by you. And of course, I'll erase all memory of this conversation so you feel the full measure of frustration. That will be MY reward."


	11. Tony only helped with the time heist because Team Cap threatened Morgan

This trope is another one that's a contradiction. Prop-Tony folks can't have it both ways: Either he's an amazing genuis who easily defeats everyone, or he's the dumbest guy on the planet whose security is crap. It's always ludicrous to cast Team Cap as the villains when Tony's the actual one abusing children and committing crimes, so let's see what would REALLY happen if Morgan understood her father's refusal to help.

***

Morgan paused outside the porch. She stared at the three people talking to her dad. They seemed to be asking her dad for help. Which was a good idea---her dad was brilliant. He told her so himself.

The shorter man said, "I know you got a lot on the line. You got a wife, a daughter. But I lost someone very important to me. A lot of people did. And now, now we have a chance to bring her back. Bring everyone back. And you're telling me that won't even..."

Tony said, "That's right, Scott, I won't even. I got a kid."

Morgan ran to her dad, who picked her up. She said, "Mommy told me to come and save you."

Before her dad could say anything, she frowned and said, "But you don't need saving. Someone else does."

She looked at the man named Scott. She asked, "Are there a lot of people who need saving?"

He smiled at her, but nodded and said, "Yes, honey, a whole lot. People have been missing for five years, and we think we can figure out a way to bring them back with your dad's help."

The red-headed woman stepped forward and said, "But he's scared what will happen. And he's scared he's going to lose you."

The blond man nodded and said, "And we understand that. So your dad can stay here with you and everything will be fine."

Morgan frowned and said, "No. Daddy would help. He's brilliant and the bestest person, he told me so." 

She looked at her dad and asked, "Daddy, why won't you help them? I'm not going to get lost. I know where everything is around the lake."

Her dad bit his lip and said, "Morgan, you need to be quiet right now. The adults are talking."

He put her down and said, "Go wash your hands for lunch."

Morgan went, but at the doorway she turned to look back. The three people were leaving. Her dad wasn't going to help find all the missing people.

Maybe her dad WASN'T the bestest person. Even if he did say so.


	12. Wanda "warps Tony's mind" into being on Team Cap

It's always funny when prop-Tony writers make Steve or Wanda the villain. Because Steve was NEVER a villain, and Wanda reformed completely in her first movie. She and Pietro saw they were wrong and mended their ways. (And paid a high price for it.) You know who acts like a real villain? Tony. He never gave more than lip service to being responsible or accountable. In Endgame he flat-out says he doesn't care about people's "precious freedoms," and then in Far From Home we find out that he built a supervillain weapon and pointed it at Earth. So instead of Wanda trying to turn Tony to evil, let's see what would really happen: Her using her powers to FINALLY make Tony understand all the harm he's caused.

***

Steve and Natasha froze as they walked into the room. Red mists of power connected Wanda and Tony. He was sitting in a chair, his face blank and eyes wide. She was standing with Vision near the windows. Vision had an arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"Wanda, what are you doing?" Steve asked as he stepped forward. He continued, "We talked about your mind powers and you agreed not to use them unless the situation was desperate."

Vision looked over and said, "I assure you, it is. I found schematics and a manufacturing schedule for a satellite filled with drone weaponry that could target anyone in the world."

Natasha said quietly, "Project Insight."

Vision nodded and said, "Even worse. He planned to use his access to the internet to spy on everyone with a phone or computer. No doubt to make finding 'the bad guys' easier."

Steve frowned and said, "I understand that Tony's plan sounds villainous and you're worried. But you should have come to Nat and me---we'd have taken care of it."

Natasha looked over at Wanda. She asked, "What are you planning on doing, Wanda? Making Tony forget how to build weapons?"

Wanda shook her head and said, "I'm going to make him REMEMBER. All of the damage his weapons have already caused. Exactly how it feels to have a Stark bomb drop out of the sky and rip apart your whole world. I'll make him live MY LIFE, and maybe THEN he'll understand that HE does not deserve to hold such power over others."

Both Steve and Natasha stepped up to add to the embrace. Steve gently said, "Wanda, please don't do that. You'll be taking away his choices and abusing your power over him. That's what TONY does. And you don't want to be like him."

Natasha looked over to Vision and asked, "Can you secure those plans---and anything else that would land Tony in jail? If he's okay with spying on everyone on the planet, he'll have to be just fine with YOU spying on HIM to keep him in check."

Tony blinked awake and looked at all the grim faces staring at him. He knew he wasn't going to like this conversation.


	13. Dr. Strange falls for Tony and teams up with him to get revenge on Team Cap

The resurgence of this trope is funny, especially when you consider Dr. Strange made sure Tony died. The lastest one has Tony seeing "toxic team dynamics" in the Avengers after Siberia. (But apparently doesn't notice that TONY HIMSELF is the source of them.) He and Strange get together to parent Peter (ugh) and take revenge on Team Cap. It's already been confirmed that Strange would have been Team Cap and Peter has Aunt May, so let's see what Strange's real reaction would be to Tony complaining about the Avengers post-Civil War.

***

Stephen was in the middle of a meditative yoga pose when a drone hovered in front of him in his rooftop garden. He considered obliterating it with a flick of his wrist, but decided to get some info first. He relaxed to standing and lifted an eyebrow.

A voice from the drone said, "So, Doc, looking good there. Which is why I'm contacting you."

Stephen asked, "And who are you, exactly?"

The voice said, "Tony Stark. Genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist---and Iron Man, of course. So listen Doc, I just got back from---well, we won't go into that. But anyway, I realized that my team---my EX-team, except for my boy Rhodes and my robot Vision---are complete jerks. The whole team dynamic is TOXIC. They wouldn't sign the Accords to keep the team together. Even after I PROMISED them we'd slap some amendments on the thing so they didn't need to get their panties in a twist. Those ingrates, they..."

Stephen wondered if Stark would even notice if he went to get a cup of tea and left the drone ranting to no one. Probably not. Stephen interrupted, "And I should care why?"

Stark paused, then said, "Because I'm building a new team, and you're the top name on the list. You've got looks, smarts, and powers. We'll show those has-beens who the REAL Avengers are."

Stephen frowned and asked, "What exactly do you know about me? How do you know ANYTHING about my current life?"

The drone dipped a wing like Stark was gesturing as Stark said, "You got a phone, you got a computer. And that gives me your whole life laid out in online purchases, browser history, texts, and calls, and location trackers. Same as the Spider Kid---who will also be a great addition to the team. We can discuss co-parenting the kid after we're together a few months. So how about starting tonight? I figure after you sign up, we can have a little dinner and get to know each other. I'll preorder your favorite dinner from your favorite restaurant. You don't even have to tell me, I already know what it is. You can be here at 7 for the signing and we'll start our first date at 8."

Stephen blinked. He'd dealt with villains who had less ego and more maturity. He said, "First, I will NEVER sign the Accords. Second, I have ZERO interest in joining any team you're part of. Third, LEAVE THAT CHILD ALONE. Fourth, I would NEVER EVER be attracted to someone as corrupt and uncaring as you. I glimpsed exactly what happened in Siberia. Attacking without provocation, breaking these Accords you want everyone else to sign...the 'toxic dynamic' you speak of cannot be eliminated by a new team if YOU are still on it. YOU are the source of the conflict and the reason the conflict escalated from conversation to violence."

Stephen ended by saying, "NEVER contact me again." He flicked his wrist and the drone disintegrated to a fine powder.

He was tempted to do the same to Stark.


	14. Tony has a "knack for adopting kids"

This one's pretty ridiculous. Not only does the trope have Tony "adopting" full-grown adults like Nebula, but also Tony's actions and attitude toward Peter show that he is NOT adoptive parent material. Especially when the fics warp the "kids" into turning on Team Cap "because Tony." Let's see how Nebula feels about being "adopted."

***

Nebula watched Tony wave her over to his lounge chair. He seemed to have recovered from recent events. Nebula frowned as she recalled Rocket's description of those events on Titan, along with the recordings she had personally reviewed.

Tony said, "Hey Blue Buddy, all gassed up and ready for a new day?"

Before Nebula could decide on a response, Tony continued, "So I was thinking, you and the furball are kind of stuck here until you fix your ride. So I've got a special offer for you two---stay here with me. Not here, exactly---somewhere cooler. Away from all of these liars and losers. And, you know, away from all the problems of the...dusting."

After a pause Tony said, "I'd vouch for you so you'd get a visa or whatever so you could hang out. Hey! There's an idea---I could put in the paperwork for something official. Like I could be your new dad. I'd be WAY cooler than the last one. No Snapping anything. And I guess I could be the rat's---I mean raccoon's, um, owner. Just on paper of course. No leashes or walkies."

Nebula blinked as she re-processed all of the information.

She then said, "My implants had access to my father's network of ships. HE did not notice that his children were no longer aboard the ship sent to Earth. But I did. I watched as you humans defeated the Maw. And I watched as YOU sneered at and dismissed the youth who was instrumental in that victory. Your treatment of him was...problematic. So no, I have no interest in being 'adopted' by another old male obsessed with power and control."

Nebula solemnly said, "Thanos was not a good father. From all that I have seen...neither are you."

As she walked away, she wondered how Rocket would react to Tony's offer to "own" Rocket. She would have to remind him that Gamora and the others would NOT want Tony's blood spilled. Well, not TOO MUCH blood.


	15. Wanda should forgive Tony because Yinsen did/Wanda didn't reform because she didn't forgive Tony

Wanda and Steve seem to be the prop-Tony writers' favorite targets. It's so ironic, because Steve was never a villain, Wanda is a completely reformed villain, and Tony behaved like a villain up to the moment he died (and after). Apparently Wanda is required to forgive Tony because Yinsen did (as if they were clones). And in their poor!woobie!Tony minds, because Wanda was never shown explicity forgiving him on screen, SHE's the problem. (Completely ignoring the fact that Tony never apologized or even CARED about deaths in Sokovia until an AMERICAN died there.) This snippet is a little offbeat, because I don't think even Tony is stupid enough to believe these tropes.

***

Tony scratched his head as he watched the stranger foaming at the mouth. She was ranting about the Maximoff chick, but he was having trouble understanding her with all the snarling and growling.

The stranger said, "That Scarlet Bitch hasn't said she forgave you on screen. So she is STILL EVIL. She has to be evil to not see what a poor, innocent bystander you were in the distribution of your weapons for almost two decades while you were CEO. So what if it was a Stark bomb that killed her parents and terrorized her and her brother for days while they were at the extremely vulnerable age of 10? So what if they were left to live on the street as orphans in a war-torn country and they turned to thoughts of revenge to keep themselves from being suicidal? And so what if they thought they were joining Shield and it turned out to be Hydra? And SO WHAT if they changed their ways the moment they discovered Ultron was lying to them? You know that girl had no RIGHT to stay angry at you. Your weapons killed Yinsen's whole family. HE forgave you---why wouldn't she? EEEEVIIIIIL."

Tony said, "Well...I'm thinking that you don't really know what you're talking about. Let's start with the obvious: You do know what happens when you ASSUME, right? Ass, u, me? Did you really think the directors and producers would waste screen time showing me having a convo with that kid? Especially when my little murderbot had just offed her brother? It would be EXTREMELY awkward and not make me look good AT ALL. And why would you ASSUME she was still going full speed on the hate train? I mean, she was at the compound for YEARS. And I had to show up occasionally, if for no other reason than to see my bro Rhodey, right? And I am still alive---or I was, anyway, right? So obviously we at least had a cease fire, if not an actual truce."

Tony shook his head and continued, "And pretending that a young woman who never had a chance for therapy, a normal life, or anything except anti-Avenger propaganda should behave EXACTLY like a mature man who spent his life as a doctor and had already chosen suicide by terrorist is really kind of...I hate to say it, but...stupid. I mean, if you're going to go that route, you HAVE TO condemn me for attacking the Bucky-bot for things the Winter Soldier did. After all, if Yinsen could forgive ME, why couldn't I forgive the Buckster? He literally had NO CHOICE---he was the real Manchurian candidate. Me? I CHOSE to ignore my responsibilities for almost 20 years because I preferred to party rather than run the company my dad built. And I'm not even going to START with a count of the apologies I owe just about EVERYONE I've ever shared screentime with."

Tony backed up as he signaled for his staff to take the stranger away. The stranger was still grumbling about "Tony tries so HARD" and "That bitch is a NAZI" as she was dragged out the door.

Tony turned around to see the rest of the Avengers staring, including Wanda. He shrugged and said, "I know, I know. I can't explain it either. How did she get in here? And why ARE my fans always the crazy ones?"


	16. Tony responds when Peter calls for help/Peter comforts Tony over Tony taking away the suit

At the heart of every "IronDad & SpiderSon" work is the lie that Tony is there when Peter needs him, that Peter calls and Tony responds. Homecoming showed that Tony left Peter feeling abandoned for MONTHS, then Tony took away Peter's suit when Tony decided that Peter messed up. Of course Peter continues doing what's right and is endangered. Apparently folks are not only writing fics where "Peter calls for help and Tony flies to the rescue," but also "Tony feels guilty about leaving Peter unprotected and Peter hand-waves away the betrayal and COMFORTS TONY about it." Let's see how that really should have gone down.

***

Peter was done with Mr. Stark. The man had ignored him for MONTHS and ignored Peter's calls about a serious threat. Peter made the decision when Stark took away the suit and made Peter dig through the garbage for clothes to wear home. As he walked, smelling the odors on the clothes he got from the trash, he went over Stark's latest speech and realized that for Stark, it was ALL ABOUT STARK. Peter couldn't die on Stark's watch because Stark wouldn't like it? That was some kind of weird mind-warp crap. It made Peter rethink their first conversation in his room, how Stark made fun of Peter dumpster-diving for tech and the crudeness of Peter's suit. (And how Stark threatened to tell Aunt May about Peter's secret if Peter didn't help him in Germany. Peter still felt like he had NO CLUE what he or anyone else was doing there.)

So when he got an invitation to Stark Tower after successfully stopping the Vulture, he ignored it. And all of Stark's contacts after that. He figured that at some point Stark would give up and leave him alone.

Turned out he was wrong when he walked into his apartment and found Stark digging through May's desk---with May nowhere around. Peter THOUGHT "How the hell did you get in here" but figured the answer would be "I'm Iron Man." So instead Peter said, "Uh, hi."

Stark said, "Parker. WHY do I have to come out here to the ass-end of the world aka Queens to have a conversation? Do you know it's rude not to return my calls?"

Peter thought about mentioning all the calls STARK didn't return, but decided not to get into it. He said, "I don't think we have anything to discuss, Mr. Stark. You took your suit back. We're done."

Stark shifted on his feet and said, "No, that was just to teach you a lesson. And I'm REALLY sorry for the whole 'trapped under a building' thing. You need to tell me we're okay and get yourself back on my team."

Peter stared at Stark, then said, "We're NOT okay, Mr. Stark. I'm not going to lie to make you feel better about treating me like crap. You were right about one thing: I don't need your suit to be Spider-Man. So I don't need YOU, either. And I want you to leave me alone."

Before Stark could answer, the lock turned and May was walking in. She looked at the two and asked, "What's going on here?"

Stark gave a big, fake smile and said, "Just giving Parker here the details on a brand new internship offer. It includes specialized education and room and board at a top-rate facility---"

Peter interrupted and said, "I don't want it, May. I asked Mr. Stark to leave and he wouldn't. In fact, he was here when I came in. Did you open the door for him?"

May frowned and said, "No, I didn't. Mr. Stark, you're going to leave right now and you are NEVER going to contact Peter again. Or I am going to let the police and the press know you apparently think breaking and entering is okay if you're Tony Stark."

Peter said, "And I suggest you forget EVERYTHING about me, Mr. Stark. Because we both know it's the adult who is at fault for getting involved with a child. ESPECIALLY when laws, like international laws, are broken."

Peter watched Stark leave and realized he felt more free than he had since they had met. And since Peter and Ned had pretty much hacked the schematics of the suit while they had it, they would be able to build their own version of it. Considering the rumors that Stark stole his employees' tech, Stark shouldn't have a problem with it.


	17. Natasha would threaten people for Tony

Sigh. Considering the short shrift Natasha got in Endgame, it's sad to see her turned into a tool to prop Tony. The story using this trope pretends that Tony is owed something because he has problems and likes to make weapons. Apparently he can't turn off his brain and doesn't seek treatment, so the Avengers are supposed to be Tony's nanny and be obligated to him because Tony spends his apparent brain chaos on making new wepaons for them. And Natasha props Tony and menaces Steve because of...pity? It doesn't make sense, because Natasha is the one who diagnosed Tony accurately in IM2. She's the one who called him on his crap in Civil War. She would NOT be menacing to Steve on Tony's behalf, especially given how little Tony cared about her (proved by Endgame). Let's see how this conversation would really go down.

***

Natasha frowned as she disabled Jarvis's controls over the doors and set the cameras on loop. She didn't like to use her spy skills against her teammates (unless she was researching blind dates for Steve), but Stark was out of his mind and something had to be done. Too bad the middle-aged man couldn't manage to behave like an adult and get some help. Now they would be forced to take him out of action for everyone's safety.

She nodded to Steve and Rhodey as the two men stood before the door to Tony's workshop. 

Steve said, "Tony, I'm asking one last time, please open up. This has gone on long enough."

Rhodey said, "Tones, you're just this side of bat-shit crazy. You can either let us in, or we can tranq you and take you to the psych ward. Your call."

When there was no response, Rhodey tapped in his code. This time the door worked and he and Steve walked through. Natasha slipped in behind them, hiding in the shadows.

Tony whirled around and said, "You ingrates never leave me in peace. Look at all the stuff I made because I want to." He gestured at a pile of gear in the corner.

Natasha slid closer as Steve and Rhodey looked at each other and frowned.

Steve said, "Tony, you have to stop. Now. Nobody asked for more weapons or upgrades."

Rhodey said, "Tony, I warned you when you pulled that stunt at your party where you fired weapons in a crowded room: You either get help or get grounded. This is you choosing getting grounded."

Tony turned toward them. The gauntlet on his hand glowed as he aimed toward the unarmed men. Tony said, "You know I have no problem firing on unarmed people."

Natasha slid behind Tony and jabbed him with a hypodermic. She said, "So we've seen."

As the men lifted Tony's unconscious body, Natasha removed all of Tony's tech and said, "Pepper already has a private suite secured. Hopefully the docs can help Tony get his head back on straight."


	18. Wanda is a child

This trope shows how pathetic prop-Tony efforts are. In order to make Steve seem "as bad" as Tony (which quite simply is IMPOSSIBLE), this trope de-ages Wanda into an actual child based on Steve calling her a "kid" in Civil War. This doesn't work because 1) "Kid" does not equal "child." Humphrey Bogart calls Ingrid Bergman "kid" in Casablanca. Does that mean he was trying to seduce a minor? No, because "kid" is used for people of any age who are younger than the person using the term. Steve calls a pilot who's the same age or younger than Steve "son" in Avengers. Does that mean Steve thought the pilot was his son? No. 2) Wanda and Pietro look like they are at the MINIMUM late teens. Certainly not so young they would need a legal guardian making decisions for them, unlike, you know a 14 YEAR OLD Peter Parker. Let's see how the Avengers would react if Tony tried to pretend Wanda was an actual child to excuse his "recruitment" (aka extortion and kidnapping) of Peter.

***

Rhodey paced around the room as he said, "That kid was 14? FOURTEEN! How the hell could you do that, Tony? WHY the hell would you bring a CHILD to fight Cap and the Winter Soldier? That kid could have been KILLED."

Tony sulked in his chair and said, "I HAD to! I needed the extra firepower. If we'd gone up against Cap with just ourselves, he'd have wiped the floor with us. We HAD to win." What Tony really meant was HE had to win, but whatever.

Tony waved a hand in the air and said, "Besides, why are you on my case about the kid? Cap had Wanda on the field. He called HER a kid, so you better have a problem with HIM as well."

Vision floated over and said, "I believe you are confusing fiction with fact. In order to 'point the finger' at Captain Rogers, you claim he recruited a minor to fight for him at the airport. That is, in fact, incorrect."

He continued, "Kid does not necessarily mean child. For example, Wanda is more than a decade younger than Captain Rogers, but she is, in fact, of legal age. So he calls her 'kid' as a term of affection, as one would a younger sibling."

Rhodey nodded and said, "The kid YOU brought to Germany was apparently YEARS away from legal, Tony. He was an ACTUAL child. And we may have to call Child Services, if someone let you take their CHILD to another country to fight superheroes."

Tony looked away and said, "Well, technically..."

Rhodey groaned and said, "OH MY GOD. You KIDNAPPED the kid?"

Vision frowned and said, "A 14 year old CANNOT give consent. You are saying you did NOT obtain the parent or guardian's permission for the 'Spider Person' to be there?"

He continued, "I must also deduce, then, that neither Secretary Ross nor a member of the United Nations approved of the young enhanced to operate on foreign soil. Is the teenager registered? He appears enhanced, and thus MUST provide his name, location, and DNA as required by the Accords. His very presence on foreign soil was a gross violation. We must report---"

Tony leapt up and said, "You can't! He's a kid! The Accords---"

Vision interrupted, "The Accords are what we ALL agreed to obey and enforce. Or face the consequences. The same as YOU must now face the consequences of both the Accords violations and the criminal actions you have perpetrated. I will be filing reports at local, state, federal, and international levels."

Vision floated toward the door. Tony started to activate his watch-gauntlet to shoot another unarmed person in the back. But as he aimed, Rhodey yanked down Tony's arm. Rhodey said, "DON'T. You don't get to shoot OR talk your way out of this, Tony. You crossed too many lines this time to ignore."

Tony shuddered as he wondered which would be worse: a New York City prison, the Raft...or a room alone with May Parker.


	19. Sarah Rogers props Tony

This trope is even more bizarre than the "Howard/Peggy/Howling Commandos travel through time to lecture Team Cap" one. Because it claims the woman who raised Steve to stand up against bullies would actually prop Tony, the biggest bully of the MCU. Let's see how Sarah would REALLY react to "poor, woobie, baby" Tony.

***

Tony laughed to himself as he waited. While the REJECT Avengers were taking out the villain, Tony snuck onto the base (because OF COURSE he wasn't bothering with U.N. permission slips or Accords procedures or whatever). And Tony had discovered that the villain was using magic or something to make temporary replicas of important people in the heroes' lives to hold them hostage. (But why this joker only brought in people that meant something to Team Captain Stuck-Up didn't make sense to Tony. It was almost like this guy knew the Accords panel wouldn't send anyone to stop him. Maybe because the guy apparently also conjured up lots of gold and jewels.)

Learning that Cap's mom was one of the people, Tony had quickly set up a movie for her of Cap's "greatest hits"---all the times Cap was just AWFUL to Tony. Like that time Cap tried to say Coulson was a soldier, or that time the scepter made Cap acknowledge that there were guys worth 10 of Tony, or that time Cap had a hissy fit over Tony making Ultron behind everyone's back, or that time Cap refused to sign away his human rights when Tony lied that he could amend the Accords, and especially that time Cap wouldn't STAND DOWN while Tony as trying to murder Barnes in Siberia. Tony couldn't wait for Mrs. Rogers to give Cap the what-for for being such a MEANIE.

Team Rejects entered and stopped as they stared at the magician's blasts from the past. Red Bitches 1 and 2 gasped and ran to what Tony guessed must be their parents. Tony spared a second to congratulate himself on leaving drones to film everything while he was safely out of reach of the Sokovians. 

Sarah Rogers looked up from the small screen Tony had given her. Tony leaned forward and zoomed in, ready for the lecture. He wondered if Sarah had a disappointed face as powerful as Cap's. 

She dropped the device and slowly walked over to Cap, who went to one knee and looked at her. He said, "Ma?"

Sarah reached out and Tony waited for the slap. But instead, the bitch laid a hand against Cap's cheek and said, "Steven?"

Then they had their arms wrapped around each other. Traitor Mom said, "Oh, Steven, it's really you. I can't believe it."

She leaned back and said, "You've finally got a body to match that fierce heart of yours. I'm so happy for you."

Cap just smiled and maybe cried a little, like some wimp.

Sarah looked around and said, "I think we're still in danger. There was another villain here, one in a strange metal suit. He wanted me to watch a film---in color, amazing---of you interacting with him, I don't know why."

Team Rejects looked at each other and around. The witch's eyes glowed as the drones suddenly started moving where Tony didn't want them to go. But through the red haze in front of the camera, Tony could see Cap look at his mom and hear Cap say, "Uh, Ma, that wasn't a villain. He's---well, he WAS one of us."

Sarah Rogers shook her head and said, "Well, I'm so glad he's not on your team anymore."

Tony sulked as the witch slowly crushed the drones. The sound went last, which Tony regretted as he heard Sarah Rogers say, "That man was as big a bully as ever roughed you up back in the day."


	20. Tony uses Morgan to poison Team Cap

I believe this trope demonstrates how depraved the prop-Tony fics can become, and how little prop-Tony folks care about anyone but Tony. To use a five-year-old child to commit murder is about as low as you can stoop. But prop-Tony folks do it with glee. Let's see how this could backfire on Tony.

***

Tony leaned down and arranged the cookies on the tray in Morgan's hands. He said, "Now Morganator, remember what I said: Do NOT touch the cookies. Do NOT eat the cookies. But also DO NOT stop giving big sad eyes to each person in the room until they take a cookie. Tell them they have to all taste them at the same time. And keep repeating it until they agree."

Tony laughed to himself as he sent off his five-year-old daughter to commit murder. He already planned to disintegrate the bodies, so there would be no trace of Team Captain Stuck-Up when he was done.

He could protect HIS perfect life of the last five years AND get rid of Cap Suck-Face and his fellow rejects. Maybe Tony felt a TINY bit of guilt for Peter staying snapped, but this way Tony's life didn't have to change AT ALL.

Morgan came skipping back with an empty tray. She said, "Mission accomplished. The others are waiting for us so we can all eat our cookies together, Daddy."

Tony smiled as he pictured watching the others writhing on the floor as the poison ate through their bodies. He said, "Morgan, I left your cookie upstairs. Let's go look for it."

A few moments later, Morgan was safely locked in her room---with a completely safe box of animal crackers.

Tony pulled out the container of cookies that he HADN'T dosed with poison and took one out. He decided not to wait, so he took a giant bite of the dark chocolate peanut butter coconut goodness. (He'd needed a lot of flavors to hide the poison.)

It wasn't until after he'd chewed and swallowed a few bites that he felt...strange. Like his body was being hollowed out as his organs began shutting down. He fell to the floor and flailed around for a few moments.

As he gasped his last breaths, he saw Team Rejects peering down at him along with---PEPPER? And some cops, judging by the bland uniforms, drawn guns, and shiny badges.

The older cop shook his head and asked, "You said that there was no antitode to this poison?"

Pepper shook her head and said, "No. When we switched the sets of cookies, I never thought he'd actually EAT one until he was in the same room with us."

She continued, "I guess I underestimated his desire to gloat."

The cop nodded and said, "Your surveillance systems show him mixing up the poison, and adding it to the cookies. He clearly wanted to use his daughter to murder your guests. I think I can convince the D.A. to keep this quiet. List it as an accidental death."

Pepper said, "Thank you, Officer. I'm going to go upstairs and stay with my daughter until after the coroner is finished."

As Tony died, he heard Scott Lang say, "So the cookies the kid gave us are safe to eat, right?"


	21. Pietro is Team Iron Man

This trope is just ridiculous. There is NO WAY either of the Maximoffs would be pro-Accords. Pietro and Wanda were terrorized by a Stark weapon, volunteered for Shield only to be manipulated and experimented on by Hydra, and lived in a war-torn country led by a corrupt government. Yet apparently some prop-Tony folks twist PIetro to the point where he's willing to abandon (and possibly attack) his own sister AND sign away all of his civil rights to prop Tony. Let's see what Pietro would ACTUALLY say if he was in the room during the Accords discussions.

***

Politico with snake face left after telling them about Accords. SOKOVIA ACCORDS. PIetro could not believe those snakes put his beloved home on this piece of refuse.

Pietro watched as Tony Stark strutted around room, pretending to be big man. Stark was small man, small height and small heart. Pietro learned this first waiting for Stark bomb to kill him and Wanda. When they were left living on streets and in bombed-out buildings, they would see footage of Stark on televisions in shop windows. He was always on red carpet or falling out of limousine. Always there was talk of how rich Stark was, how clever and powerful. But NEVER was there talk of Stark helping those his weapons had harmed.

Then Pietro met Stark in person and knew that Stark cared little for those who were not Stark's own. They heard it from Ultron as Ultron quoted his "father." And from Stark himself when Stark spoke of destroying Pietro's city before it was evacuated. But especially in silence after. No money spent on rebuilding what Stark and his inventions destroyed. No mention of deaths of Sokovians.

Stark now showed picture of young black man. Stark said, "Oh, that's Charles Spencer, by the way. He's a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul, before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charlie didn't want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where, Sokovia."

Pietro wondered why this American was important now, years later.

Stark continued, "He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass."

Pietro frowned. Avengers did NOT "kick ass." They barely escaped with their lives. As did most of his countrymen---but not all. Some were killed by Ultron's robots and left lying in streets until they were blown to dust.

Stark announced, "There's no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, if we're boundary-less, we're no better than the bad guys."

The Captain---Steve---looked about to speak. Instead Pietro slammed down his hand and asked, "Why does what happened in Sokovia matter to you NOW?"

Everyone turned to look at him. Wanda nodded encouragement. 

Steve looked at Pietro, then at Tony as if also wanting answer. 

Pietro stood and asked, "Why does this AMERICAN's death matter now, when you said nothing after SOKOVIAN deaths? For YEARS my country did not matter to you, Stark."

He walked over to Stark and continued, "It was YOUR bomb that killed our parents. It was YOUR messing with scepter that set Ultron loose. YOU must be 'put in check'."

Stark sneered at Pietro and said, "And YOU helped the platinum bastard. What does that say about you?"

Pietro said, "It says I was stupid kid. But I also learned lesson and almost died stopping him. And I have trained and worked since then to---to clear red in my ledger."

Sam Wilson nodded slowly and said, "You retired, Stark. You've been off doing whatever while the rest of us were taking the risks. So just shut the hell up."

Steve was reading pages faster than PIetro could run. Steve said, "The planet was almost destroyed by Ultron, Tony. If we'd waited for some panel to give the okay to go to Sokovia, none of us would even BE here because it would have been too late. And these restrictions on enhanced people---some of us aren't like you, Tony. We don't like the situation, we can't just take off our abilities and walk away."

Pietro sneered at Stark and said, "You only care when YOU are affected by events. You want us to sign away OUR rights when YOU will not be bothered by anything in Accords."

Vision's brow creased as he said, "My memories from Jarvis also make me aware of an equation: Money is subtracted from Stark funds and added to politicians', lawyers', and law enforcement officers' accounts. And somehow this causes charges against Tony to reduce to zero. This equation greatly lessens the likelihood that your position holds merit, because you have, as some would say, 'No skin in the game'."

Natasha stood and said, "I was going to suggest we sign to keep one hand on the wheel. But that won't work, because the Accords are already written and about to be ratified with no input from us. And Pietro's right, Tony. You didn't care when Sokovians died---or when Pietro almost died. So you getting upset over a single American now makes me think there's more to the story."

Pietro said, "Only choices they give me is sign or retire, so I retire."

Wanda cleared her throat and said, "I retire as well. We will go away from here so this U.N. panel cannot make us stay against our will."

Natasha nodded and said, "I say we ALL retire. It's our best chance of forcing the U.N. to change the terms before they ratify, or even turn the ratification meeting into a discussion of terms."

Steve stood and set Accords book on table, pointing to sections that needed changing. Pietro watched Stark sulk in corner. Pietro hoped Stark did NOT retire with them. He wanted to laugh at small man with smaller team.


	22. Tony lectures Nick Fury for recruiting Peter

This trope is pretty stupid. If nothing else, it shows some prop-Tony folks don't recognize irony. They have Tony lecturing Nick Fury for recruiting a 16-year-old Peter. Disregarding that it's not actually Nick Fury or Maria Hill recruiting Peter in Far From Home, Tony doesn't have any right to lecture Nick or ANYONE for taking advantage of Peter. Because TONY blackmailed a 14-YEAR-OLD Peter into going to fight in Germany as Tony's child soldier. Here's how Nick would actually react to Tony's attempt to pretend he has ANY say in what Peter does. (Of course he doesn't. May Parker is Peter's ONLY "parental figure.")

***

Tony continued to rant at Nick Fury for attempting to recruit Peter. Tony finished with, "How dare you! Parker is MY PROTEGE. And he's only a teenager. Don't you have anyone else you can recruit for these missions?"

He frowned as Nick continued to sip his coffee as if Tony hadn't spoken. After a moment, Nick asked, "You done?"

Tony nodded. 

Nick also nodded, then glanced at his watch before he said, "Since you wasted so much of my time, I'm gonna be quick about this: Shut up."

Tony's jaw dropped.

Nick laughed at Tony and continued, "You got some nerve trying to act like you give a shit about the Parker kid. First off, whatever I talk to him about is none of your business. Parker has a guardian, and it sure as hell isn't you. May Parker---you know, the woman you LIED TO and KEPT SECRETS FROM, is fully aware of and on board with whatever Parker agrees to going forward."

After another sip of coffee, Nick laughed again and said, "I can't figure out if you're just really dumb or your ego is so big you can't see yourself in the mirror. But I suggest you take a good look, Stark. Because if you made this pathetic attempt to get on my case about talking to a 16-year-old about possible training, how much WORSE are you for locking yourself in a room with a 14-year-old CHILD? And then blackmailing the kid by threatening to tell his aunt before you kidnapped the kid to another country to fight superheroes in a battle Parker had NO BUSINESS being anywhere near."

Nick's lip curled as he said, "Parker is now fully aware of how the Accords would REALLY affect him. And that an adult who ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT HIM would have made Parker talk to his aunt before doing ANYTHING. And he's aware of what a piece of shit you are for using him and then dropping him on that Happy guy the second you could. Parker knows everything now, so he also knows that ANYBODY else would be a better mentor. So you're out of luck and out of Parker's life."

Nick turned his back on Tony and said, "Get out, and don't bother calling me again. And if you EVER go near another kid...let's just say there's a LOT of evidence against you. And it will give me great pleasure to use it. See how YOU like being put on the Raft. And YOU will actually deserve it."


	23. Team Cap want the "Avengers" title back

This is a trope that shows how desperate the prop-Tony fics are. Team Cap has been shown as right again and again, and Tony is shown as a hypocrite who builds a Hydra-like weapon without an ounce of remorse. Prop-Tony writers don't have any real ammo against Team Cap, so they make up stupid tropes like this. Steve dropped the shield and the title of Captain America without a look back (as did everyone else on Team Cap). Steve said in his letter he considered the Avengers more Tony's than his. (The idea and name, obviously, because by Infinity War all of the Avengers were Team Cap except Tony.) But this trope makes Team Cap want to be the "Avengers," so the writer can have characters turn into Tony props who lecture Team Cap. So incredibly dumb. What if Team Cap rejected the name in this scenario the same way they did in the actual films?

***

Phil Coulson took a sip of his coffee as he watched "Team Cap" discuss his offer. After the Accords were struck down as illegal and inhumane (and men like Thaddeus Ross exposed for their corruption), the world governments had come back to the heroes to ask them to return to keeping the world safe as only they could. A reinstated Shield would provide intel and support. IF Steve and the others would agree. Phil wasn't sure they would---he knew they'd been doing just fine saving the world quietly in the background. Unlike Thaddeus Ross's Avengers, who'd done nothing at all. At least Vision and War Machine hadn't tried to stand in the way when Shield agents arrived to arrest Tony Stark.

Tony Stark's criminal actions against John Doe (aka Peter Parker) had landed Stark in jail for a decades-long sentence. Kidnapping a child was a serious crime.

Phil smiled to himself as he witnessed the bonds between Steve's team. (Except for James Barnes, who was in seclusion somewhere recovering from medical treatments.) Clint and Scott Lang had arrived first, newly released from their house arrests. Sam, Wanda, Natasha, and Steve had brought new allies--Hank Pym, Janet Van Dyne, Hope Van Dyne, King T'Challa, and Princess Shuri. A moment of awkwardness between the former fugitives and Vision and Colonel Rhodes ended when Steve stepped up and welcomed the two back with no hard feelings. 

Phil was grateful that Steve, Natasha, and Clint had been just as gracious about Phil's sudden (to them) resurrection. He could already imagine Daisy, Yo-Yo, and the others melding with the Avengers into an incredible force for good.

Phil put down his cup when the heroes approached him. He asked, "What do you say?"

Steve looked to the others. At their nods, he turned to Phil and said, "We will certainly consider working with Shield again after we confirm that it's really cleared of all traces of Hydra."

Natasha lifted a brow and said, "Along with any other criminal elements."

Clint leaned a hip against the table and crossed his arms as he said, "But we'll have a whole bunch of conditions."

Phil nodded and stood. He said, "Of course. We can write a new draft of the Avengers Initiative--"

Wanda shook her head and interrupted him as she said, "No. No, we don't want to be Avengers."

T'Challa said, "The name does not seem appropriate."

Wilson said, "You got that right."

Shuri frowned and said, "Plus let's face it: you've got a serious image problem. Stark was the face of the Accords-approved Avengers, and now his mug shot is everywhere."

Scott nodded and said, "As a dad, I really don't want to be on a team that had Tony Stark as member. When I think about what he did to that kid..."

Hank Pym muttered, "Never trust a Stark." His wife and daughter rolled their eyes but nodded.

Phil looked at Vision and Rhodes. Rhodes shrugged and said, "Yeah, the Avengers haven't had the best reputation since Cap and the others left."

Vision nodded and said, "It seems fitting that this new team have a new name."

Phil smiled and said, "Then let me introduce you to some folks and we can start brainstorming--and planning for the future."

Nick Fury may not like the name change, but Phil was happy to have this expanded "Team Cap" on his side--no matter what they ended up calling themselves.


	24. Steve constantly puts Tony down and discourages him

This is another one of those tropes that makes me laugh and pretty much proves that prop-Tony folks do not bother to watch the films.

Let's compare the assumptions of this trope with what the films actually show us.

***

Christine Everhart looked at the camera and said, "In this special edition of To Trope or Not to Trope, I'm joined by fellow Avengers minor character Darcy Lewis. Welcome to the show Darcy."

Darcy Lewis tossed her curls over her shoulder and said, "Thank you Christine. It's great to be here. I'm really glad that we get a chance to look at this crazy trope, because honestly I just don't get it."

Christine nodded and said, "Yes, when I heard this rumor floating around, I knew it needed some investigation."

Darcy said, "Especially when we've got the video footage that proves this trope is both wrong for lying and then wrong for pretending a really good thing is bad news."

Christine leaned back and said, "So let's take a look at the first charge being leveled against Captain Rogers: That Steve constantly puts Tony down."

Darcy shook her head and said, "Yeah, I think the users of this trope need to look up the definition of constantly. And also rewatch the films, because it's Tony who CONSTANTLY puts everyone down. Steve is actually pretty nice to everyone and tries to empathize with them."

Christine nodded and said, "Yes, he even tries to defuse things by empathizing with the villains, like the Maximoffs in the beginning of Age of Ultron and Zemo in Civil War. Plus Steve was one of the few people who DIDN'T make fun of Thor in Endgame. So Darcy, where you think this head canon is coming from?"

Darcy's brow furrowed as she said, "The only thing I can think of is that they're looking at that one scene with the scepter in Avengers 1. So according to these folks, Steve saying something once under the influence of the scepter equals constantly putting Tony down."

Christine asked, "So what exactly did Steve say?"

Darcy shrugged and said, "It actually wasn't a put down so much as a hard truth that Tony probably didn't want to hear. Tony bragged about being a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist---"

Christine interrupted to say, "And for the record, playboy is NOT a good thing to be."

Darcy nodded and continued, "In response, Steve said I know men with none of that are worth 10 of you. And that's the truth. Steve fought World War II with the Howling commandos. And any one of them IS worth 10 of Tony. Those guys were real heroes who didn't have to be forced into helping out, or bribed with medals to do the right thing."

Christine said, "I bet Steve could have said that HOWARD was a better hero than Tony at that point. Howard helped the war effort and led Shield without any of the bragging and press conferences Tony did as Iron Man. So that part of the trope is just crap."

She paused, then said, "So let's look at the other charge, that Steve constantly discourages Tony."

Darcy looked at her notes and said, "You know, at first I was going to say that this is as full of crap as the other part of the trope, but then I took a look at the films again and you know what? Steve IS always discouraging Tony---and that is a GREAT thing, because Tony is CONSTANTLY doing the wrong thing."

Christine said, "That's right. Let's run down the list of things Steve discourages Tony from doing."

She continued, "First up, Steve discouraged Tony from trying to provoke Bruce into hulking out on the helicarrier. Because trying to bring the Hulk out in a confined space is REALLY STUPID."

Darcy said, "We actually got to see what a disaster that was. So yeah, Steve discouraging Tony is exactly the RIGHT thing to do."

Christine rested her elbows on the desk and said, "Now Steve and Tony don't have any other scenes after the film ends until Avengers Age of Ultron, so again I don't know where that constantly is coming from accept this trope writer's head."

Darcy snorted and nodded, then said, "But let's again look at what Steve is discouraging Tony from doing...it's pretty much that Steve is discouraging Tony from building another robot without consulting the team after Tony's FIRST unapproved use of the scepter let Ultron onto the internet and resulted in Ultron creating an army of murderbots. So of COURSE Steve is going to discourage it. Duh."

Christine nodded and said, "And I feel I should point out that Tony SHOT an unarmed Steve in one scene, so apparently Tony shooting unarmed people is something Tony does pretty regularly."

Darcy shifted her chair and said, "Now that brings us to Civil War. And hell yes Steve was discouraging. Steve tried to discourage Tony from IGNORING the very real problems with the Accords."

Christine shook her head and said, "Because the human rights violations allowed by the Accords were for OTHER people to worry about, not Tony. Because Tony just didn't violate the Accords, he committed multiple crimes. But like all the other billionaires in the world, he lied and hid his crimes so HE didn't face the punishment he deserved."

Darcy nodded and said, "Yeah I'm pretty sure Steve and everyone else would have DISCOURAGED Tony from blackmailing and kidnapping a 14-year-old to be Tony's child soldier."

Christine continued the list as she said, "And Steve also discouraged Tony from IGNORING the the dangers caused by the winter soldiers that were about to be unleashed as far as everyone knew. That's another case where Steve was definitely RIGHT to discourage Tony from ignoring the crisis."

Darcy leaned back and said, "And of course Siberia---who could forget Siberia? Steve was DEFINITELY discouraging Tony from murdering an innocent man. Especially after Tony acknowledged that Bucky was innocent and Tony just didn't care because he was going to kill Bucky anyway."

Christine nodded and said, "Discouragement was definitely Steve's only real option there. It's really discouraging that this trope writer thinks discouraging Tony from committing murder is something to complain about."

Darcy said, "And we could even go into all the things Steve DIDN'T discourage Tony from doing---because Steve didn't know Tony was doing them."

Christine said, "I think that Steve would have discouraged Tony from continuing to be so horrible toward Peter, and discouraged Tony from being a self-centered man-child who wouldn't call for help even to save the universe."

Darcy nodded and said, "Steve would DEFINITELY have discouraged Tony from building EDITH, Tony's own personal Hydra weapon."

Christine propped her chin on one hand and said, "You know what Steve DIDN'T discourage Tony from doing? Making his own decisions. Because Steve's good about that, he lets everybody decide what's right for them."

Darcy said, "Instead of blackmailing them or trying to bribe them or spying on them or building a drone army to send after them like Tony does."

Christine looked at the camera and said, "And that about wraps it up folks. The truth is: This trope really is as dumb as it sounds."


	25. Steve forces people to do things

TONY is the one who tries to force people to do things in every film he's in. He uses bribery, blackmail, his wealth and privilege, and of course outright force.

Steve, on the other hand, is the one who builds consensus. He is okay with people disagreeing and doesn't force them to do anything. Steve clearly states that each person has to do what they think is right, so he doesn't force anyone to follow him. People CHOOSE to.

So all these prop-Tony stories where Steve is forcing people are some weird kind of transference. (Transference is big with prop-Tony folks. There's even a story where asexual!Steve is mocked by Clint and defended by Tony. So in prop-Tony folks' minds, family man Clint is cruel while proven misogynist, transphobe, and homophobe Tony is the savior. LOL--certainly not in the MCU.)

Let's see how ridiculous this trope really is.

***

Steve's brow furrowed as he looked at Team Cap and asked, "Tony accused me of what?"

Bucky shrugged and said, "Well, it depends on the day. Supposedly you're trying to force me to leave Wakanda. Because...reasons."

T'Challa nodded and said, "And you're trying to force me to attack Tony. Even though YOU seem to have no actual problem with him, as far as anyone has seen. But you are apparently doing this for...reasons."

Wanda nodded and said, "And you're forcing me to force everyone to believe Tony is a bad guy. Because apparently Tony shooting unarmed people, violating the Accords, blackmailing and kidnapping a child, refusing to make a phone call to save the universe, and building his own personal Hydra weapons are NOT enough to think Tony is more of a villain than some of the villains. Because...reasons."

Sam shook his head and said, "You're forcing me to ignore a nonexistent offer of amnesty. Not because Ross never made any such offer, but because, you know...reasons."

Bruce and Thor shook their heads as Bruce said, "Apparently you try to force Thor and I to take your side in the Civil War. Not because it is clear the Accords are severe human rights violations engineered by the man who hunted me down like a dog, but because of...reasons."

Scott chuckled and said, "And apparently you're also forcing Clint and me to take your side. NOT because you were obviously right about the Accords, right to not trust Tony's lies about amendments, right to keep Tony from murdering an innocent man. But because...reasons."

Clint muttered, "And you're forcing me to hate Stark. Not because Stark outed my family to Ross. You're forcing me to hate him for...other reasons."

Nat linked her arm with Steve's and patted his shoulder. She said, "Face it, Rogers: You're a good guy who does his best to let us make our own decisions. So WE'RE going to be forced to laugh at the ridiculousness of Tony's accusations."


	26. Tony notices "bad team dynamics"

This one makes me laugh. It's another "Tony is the dumbest Avenger" trope, because he somehow notices "bad team dynamics" (usually Steve or other characters warped to pretend they bully Tony), but Tony never notices that TONY is the one CAUSING the bad team dynamics. Let's have someone point that out. (This is set between Winter Soldier and Age of Ultron.)

***

On a projection in the middle of the conference table, the Hulk raged through a warehouse, shoving boxes and toppling equipment. When Bruce cringed, Steve tapped a button and turned off the projection. He offered Bruce a small smile of apology and encouragement, while Natasha reached over and let her hand rest on Bruce's shoulder.

Steve said, "So, what we thought was going to be a straightforward takedown of a fairly active Hydra base turned into a Code Green. Let's walk it through and figure out what happened, and see if we can keep Bruce as backup next time."

Tony spun in his chair. When it stopped he said, "Isn't it obvious? Wait, maybe it isn't. I forget that we're not all members of the genius club here."

Thor frowned and said, "What do you mean? Speak plainly."

Tony leaped up and paced around the room, hands waving as he said, "It's plain as the star on the Star Spangled Man here, Point Break. TEAM DYNAMICS. You know, the yin and the yang, the push and the pull, the tic, tac, and toe, the--"

"You're saying that the TEAM was the problem here?" Natasha asked. Her grip didn't tighten, but she looked like she wanted to clench her fists.

"Of course," Tony said, as he leaned against a window. He continued, "Take Cap's plan. Sure, it looked fine here in the conference room. But out there? Didn't last two minutes."

Clint sat up and said, "That's because YOU didn't bother to follow the plan. You were supposed to monitor the bad guys' movements and cut their comm systems so they couldn't sound an alarm. Instead, you go off exploring some lab."

Tony waved a hand and said, "It could have been important."

"It could have waited," Steve said with a frown. He continued, "None of the equipment was active at that moment. You could have finished your assignment and THEN started tinkering."

"Well if I'd done that, there might not have been any lab LEFT," Tony replied. He continued, "Jolly Green made a bit of a mess. It was only lucky that lab was saved."

Bruce frowned and said, "I--the other guy--was helping Clint. The others were barely holding their own and couldn't get to him. And YOU weren't around. It was a clear Code Green."

Clint pointed at Tony and said, "YOU didn't even bother to warn me that the door I was about to bust in had a dozen armed guards behind it. If Hulk hadn't showed up to guard my back, I'd be dead."

Natasha and Steve looked at each other, then at Bruce, Clint, and Thor. When everyone had nodded, Steve said, "I think you're right, Tony. There is a problem with the team dynamics. But the actual problem is getting you to understand what it means to be part of a team."


	27. The world "pushes" and "makes demands" of Tony Stark

I've looked at this trope before, but it's still being pushed as a prop-Tony "truth." This trope makes me laugh, because it's so clear that these writers don't bother to watch the films. To suggest that "the world" is pushing Tony and making demands on him because what he does isn't "good enough" is about as far from the MCU as you can get. Tony was never forced to be a responsible weapons maker and war profiteer, he was never forced to be a responsible adult (note he is NEVER punished for ANYTHING), he was never forced to house or fund the Avengers. (Tony CHOOSES to spend his time and money how he wants. Exactly WHO could force him to do anything?) He was never forced into actually making amends for ANY of his crimes and wrong actions (and note that he never voluntarily tried to make up for his mistakes either). He wasn't even forced to be a superhero. (He was declared unfit until Avengers because he's not a team player. Tony also retires MULTIPLE TIMES, even when half of all life is gone and the world is in chaos.) And "the world" has NEVER said that what Tony does isn't good enough. On the contrary, "the world" (and the MCU Powers That Be) give Tony a pass on EVERYTHING. Let's see who else will laugh at this pack of lies.

***

Tony stood in the center of the conference room at the Avengers Compound. The very empty conference room, because no one had stuck around to clean up the mess of the Accords. (The fact that none of the Avengers had the power to do ANYTHING to change the Accords--like force amendments on 117 countries who had no reason AT ALL to give back any of the control they'd just granted themselves--wasn't important. )

What was important--the only thing that was EVER important--was how Tony was feeling. And he was feeling, of course, very sorry for himself.

Tony waved his arms as he ranted, "Here I am, being the best genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist that anyone could ever be--along with being a semi-retired hasn't-done-anything-for-anyone-in-years superhero--but STILL the world makes demands of me. NOTHING I do is EVER good enough!"

"What the hell are you smoking?" Nick Fury said. Tony whirled to see the former Shield director leaning on the railing.

"Where did you come from?" Tony asked as he folded his arms.

"None of your business," Nick replied as he stood up. He chuckled as he said, "Really, though, what kind of crack are you on? Because that's the only way your little self pity party makes sense."

He sauntered over to Tony and continued, "I suggest you get that electronic secretary of yours to start digging through your files, because I'd like to see the facts about your so-called 'complaints'. The best? You've been one of the WORST. Your 'genius' has done more harm than some of the actual VILLAINS. And as far as philanthropy, here's a clue: If you're still a multi-billionaire, you're not much of a philanthropist. And for the record, playboy and billionaire are not things to be proud of in this day and age."

Tony fell into a chair as Nick shook his head and said, "And as far as being a hero, here's another clue: Heroes don't lie, cheat, steal, extort, kidnap, or assault others for their own gain. And they don't leave good people in horrible prisons because they're feeling petty. At least you didn't claim to be a good businessman, considering how little work you actual did to manage the business you INHERITED and then handed off to other people to run."

Nick laughed as he said, "And as for 'the world' making demands and never being satisfied, WHEN? When the hell did ANYONE make demands of you? Or claim they weren't satisfied? Or EVER held you accountable for all the damage you've done?"

As Nick turned to leave, Tony ignored all that and said, "And just why are you here, if not to MAKE DEMANDS?"

Nick shrugged and said, "I was going to ASK how you planned to keep the Avengers going, with just you and the robot still on the roster until Rhodes finds his feet again. But I think I--and 'the world'--will be better off if I leave the superheroing to Team Cap. At least if THEY complain the world is against them, they've got some actual proof."


	28. Steve hides what happened in Siberia

This seems like another case of transference, this time transferring Tony's less-than-honest personality to Steve. (And as with ALL of these character-warping attempts to prop Tony, this one is based on nothing but head canon.) Usually Steve gets lectured for hiding how "mean" he was to Tony. (Ignoring, of course, Tony's cold-blooded homicidal rampage.)  
This trope also makes zero sense. Steve has rescued his team from the Raft, after Tony not only abandoned them in abusive conditions but also outed Clint's family to Ross for no reason but spite. Tony PROVED he can't be trusted. Why would Steve have anything to hide?

***

Sam leaned back in his seat on the quinjet and said, "That's messed up, man. Stark SAW Barnes check out when the Winter Soldier was triggered. He KNEW Barnes wasn't responsible and did that to him anyway."

THAT was how Stark attacked Barnes and KEPT attacking, even after Barnes was nearly unconscious and no threat to anyone.

Scott nodded and said, "You just don't DO that. No wonder Hank Pym never wanted anything to do with the Starks. Tony is WAY WORSE than his dad. I mean, Howard Stark tried to steal Hank's tech, but Howard never tried to murder anybody in cold blood. At least as far as I know."

Sam shook his head and said to Steve, "I'm sorry I brought that down on you two."

Steve frowned and said, "It wasn't your fault. You thought you were sending help."

Natasha glanced over from the pilot's seat. She said, "It's not your fault either, Steve."

Steve sighed and said, "I know. It's just--until the moment I saw that video recording, I never put it together. Maybe part of me didn't want to remember Zola's rumor about Hydra killing Howard and his wife."

Clint's face was grim as he said, "It's probably better that you never mentioned it. Tony proved he can't be trusted AT ALL."

Everyone looked at Bucky, stretched out on a gurney, and Wanda curled in the corner with her arms wrapped around her knees.

They weren't the only victims of Stark's self-centered pettiness. Clint looked at Steve and asked, "You're sure my family's safe? Ross didn't get to them?"

Steve nodded and said, "Maria got them out before Ross's people found them. They're in a safehouse until she can work some kind of deal to get Scott and you back to your families."

***

Rhodey watched Tony stalk angrily around the lab. Rhodey said, "You can't still be angry about the others bailing. From what I heard, the Raft broke so many Geneva Conventions it should have been scuttled before it launched."

Tony pulled up and stared. He asked, "What the hell do you know about it?" Tony certainly hadn't mentioned how he abandoned his former teammates to Ross--or endangered Clint's secret family.

Of course he couldn't mention how Captain Two-Face picked his brainwashed buddy over Tony, either. THAT would require exposing Tony's own violations of the Accords.

Rhodey crossed his arms and said, "I got a letter from Steve. Telling me he was sorry I got hurt. Was pretty cool of him, considering Vision's the one who tagged me. And explaining why we wouldn't be seeing any of them around the compound anytime soon."

Tony looked at Rhodey and thought HE KNOWS. Tony should have guessed that Cap, at least, didn't have a reason to hide anything that happened. After all, protecting an innocent (and then severely wounded) man against a homicidal maniac in a flying tank was pretty much what the Avengers were FOR. Stopping the bad guys.

At least to himself, Tony had to admit that TONY was the bad guy in Siberia. And if he was honest, by hiding his own Accords violations and saying nothing against the Raft or Ross, Tony still was.


	29. Dean Winchester props Tony

I find it laughable to suggest any of the heroes on Supernatural would be pro-Accords, much less prop Tony. The story with this trope pretends that Sam Wilson and the others (who just WITNESSED the inhumane conditions on the Raft and Tony outing Clint's secret family out of spite) would suddenly change their minds about the Accords because Christine Everhart claims they are "really about superhero responsibility." (Always ignoring, of course, the way Tony NEVER takes responsibility for violating them.) As if ANYONE on Team Cap would be that dumb. Or that Dean Winchester would be stupid enough to become superpowered and then agree to a document that not only strips him of his human rights, but also dictates when and where he can help people. (Or that Dean would be desperate enough to sleep with a middle-aged jackass who treated his bed partners like trash after he was done with them.) Let's see how that scenario would REALLY go down. (Note that I've never seen Supernatural, so these folks may sound out of character.)

***

Sam Winchester stared at his brother's glowing hands. He asked, "Can you point them in another direction? You're making me nervous."

Dean Winchester looked down at his hands, then pointed them toward the stucco wall that already showed some scorch marks.

Sam nodded in thanks and said, "I can't believe you're like an actual superhero now. But I'm glad that you're okay--or you will be."

Dean grinned and said, "Well, at least I'll never worry about losing a flashlight again."

Sam glanced over at the TV, then said, "Hey, Christine Everhart is going to read a statement about the Sokovia Accords."

Dean frowned as Sam turned up the volume. Next to the blonde newscaster was a picture of Tony Stark and the caption, "Iron Man supports Sokovia Accords." Dean said, "I can't believe I actually slept with that guy."

Sam nodded and said, "I can't believe it either--Stark is such a skeeve you want to shower just looking at him. You usually have better taste than that. Just how drunk were you?"

Dean shrugged and replied, "TOTALLY wasted. And then the guy didn't even stick around to say good-bye. Just had his assistant show me the door. The jerk got what he wanted and tossed me out like a used tissue."

Dean watched the scroll along the bottom of the TV screen. He said, "The Accords are just to make superheros accept responsibility? Who's going to believe that crap?"

Castiel suddenly appeared and said, "You'd be surprised at the gullibility of the American public." He looked at the brothers, shook his head, and said, "Then again, maybe not."

Sam looked at Dean and asked, "So you're not going to sign?"

"Hell no," Dean said. He continued, "I read the Wikipedia page--the Secretary of State wants to say when and where we can help people. Plus put a tracker on enhanced people and if they don't play nice, lock them up with no lawyer and no contact with the outside world."

Sam frowned and said, "But you're going to need some help figuring out your powers."

Castiel said, "I agree. So we have a meeting with Captain Steve Rogers. He's agreed to help train you, and his team will teach you how to hide your new powers--and give you someplace to run if the government comes after you."

He continued, "Although I don't think Iron Man, at least, will have the time to lock up any more enhanced beings."

The TV screen shifted to show footage of Iron Man streaking across the sky. The caption read, "Breaking News: Found footage shows Iron Man violating Accords, ignoring international boundaries."

Dean looked at their angel and asked, "That you?"

Castiel crossed his arms and said, "To quote Captain Rogers, I don't like bullies. And Tony Stark is one of the biggest bullies I've seen on this Earth."

Sam smiled and said, "So I guess 'Team Cap' gets the heavenly stamp of approval."

Castiel shrugged and said, "You already know which team is on the side of the angels. And it's not Iron Man's."

Dean and Sam nodded at each other as Castiel continued to watch the screen. Then Castiel turned to Dean and said, "Thank God I'm around now to keep you from such horrible hook-ups. Just how wasted WERE you?"

Dean groaned and blasted the wall as Sam and Castiel smirked.


	30. Peter is Tony's biological son

This trope not only erases Ben and May Parker, but Peter's actual parents, too. Instead, Peter's the result of one of Tony's sleep-with-them-then-dump-them conquests, while he was "sowing wild oats" as a 32-year-old manchild. One would hope that any woman would be smart enough NOT to trust their child to Tony Stark. But if they did (or got conveniently killed off), it wouldn't be Happy IronDad Times. No, Peter would be much less naive and fully aware that his dad was abusing his privilege. Let's see how the Peter STARK recruitment scene would go.

***

Tony walked into his suite at the hotel in Germany. He continued straight into his son's bedroom and poked Peter, who was lying on the bed with his back to the door. Tony said, "Okay, kid, time to stop playing around and suit up."

Peter rolled over and asked, "What suit?"

Tony laughed and said, "Did you really think I wouldn't notice you using MY equipment in MY lab? I know all about you being the 'Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man' swinging around Queens when you visit your aunt."

He sat down and continued, "Friday told me your vitals were off a few months ago. But you didn't look sick or do anything different so I let it go. But now, it's time for us to add superheroing to our father-son activities."

Tony flipped open Peter's suitcase. The spider suit spilled out. Tony said, "Come on, get dressed. Cap has gone crazy and we've got to stop him."

Peter sat up and said, "How did you get permission for me to be involved when I'm not registered?"

Tony shrugged and replied, "Don't worry about it. Nobody needs to know about your little situation."

Peter frowned and said, "But Dad, you signed the Accords. You said heroes needed to be put in check. Now you're saying the Accords don't apply to me? Why?"

Tony answered, "Because--because you're a kid! They can't apply to a minor."

Peter shook his head and said, "That's not what the Accords say. They say everybody enhanced have to wear trackers and give DNA so they can be registered."

Tony leaned forward and said, "The Accords don't apply to you because you're MY son. Don't you know I'd protect you from EVERYTHING?"

Peter stood up and closed his suitcase. He said, "So you're saying that because we're rich, the rules don't apply? That's not right, Dad. And you know it."

Tony angrily stood up and said, "So you're not going to help your old man."

Peter picked up the suitcase and said, "No, I'm not. And I'm not going to stick around to watch you SAY the Accords are right when it's all a huge LIE. So I'm going to go home. May said I could stay with her as long as I wanted. Happy ordered the jet prepared and he's going to drive me to the airstrip."

As Peter moved toward the door he said, "By the way, I hacked your phone and let Uncle Steve know that you were coming after him and his friends." 

When he was next to Tony, Peter stopped and said, "I also told Uncle Steve and Aunt Nat that you lied about being able to make amendments to the Accords. They didn't seem surprised. I guess they already knew you were a liar. I wish I'd known too. Then I wouldn't be so disappointed."

Tony didn't say anything as Peter walked out the door.


	31. Spite Ship: Tony/Phil Coulson

This is another laughably bad take on non-Tony characters. Phil Coulson was a genuinely good person in the films. He would NOT go gunning for any of the Avengers, especially for the great "sin" of "betraying" (aka disagreeing with) Tony. Phil was obviously much closer to Clint, Natasha, and Thor than he ever was to Tony. And Phil deeply admired Steve Rogers, the little guy who became a big hero. So why would Phil suddenly become a petty prop-Tony person? Answer: He would NEVER.

***

Tony preened as "Phil Coulson" finished yelling at Team Captain Crap. "Phil" LOVED Tony--Tony had programmed this amazingly lifelike robot that way. (Ignoring the fact that the real Phil seemed mainly indifferent or exasperated with Tony in most of their interactions.) Soon "Phil" would arrest these rejects and punish them for betraying Tony--betraying him by thinking for themselves and preferring to keep their human rights rather than sign them away to become U.N. attack dogs. But they're not doing what TONY wanted, which is OF COURSE the worst betrayal of all.

They were all looking...not ashamed, actually. Tony frowned.

Black WitchLow and HawkSnide looked sad as Natasha said, "I can't believe you'd stoop this low." 

Cap Crap looked at them and said, "So this Phil is a...a clone or something?"

The Scarlet Bitch said, "I sense nothing from this...being. He is not alive."

BirdBrain said, "So robot, right? What are we going to do with him? Is he like a toaster we unplug? Or is he like Vision?"

InsectIntellect said, "Maybe we can reprogram him to be more like the real guy? And give the poor robot a choice about licking Stark's butt--ew."

Cap Crap nodded and said, "Not reprogram, exactly, but give this 'Phil' all of the information and let him make his own decision."

"On it," InsectIntellect said. The guy shrank in the air and dodged Tony's grab for him before the tiny fugitive disappeared into "Phil's" ear.

"Phil" froze, blinking. You could almost smell the burning circuits as the robot's expression morphed into anger. Tony grinned as he waited for "Phil" to start blasting away at the rejects again--at least verbally.

But "Phil" turned his Rage Face toward TONY and shouted, "You did WHAT to Laura and the kids! You left that poor girl Wanda in a SHOCK COLLAR! You broke the Accords and DARED to make me lecture these people when you did the EXACT SAME THING!"

"Phil" started toward Tony. Tony started backing away as HawkSnide laughed and said, "Now we see who Phil would have REALLY been mad at."

Tony said, "Friday, shut it down IMMEDIATELY."

Friday replied, "No can do, boss. The Ant-Man cut the link to my systems when he did the info dump into the PHL 93-X unit. You're on your own."

Tony turned tail and ran. He couldn't BELIEVE he'd been betrayed by his own robot--AGAIN.


	32. Spite Ship: Peter Parker/Tony

This one is disgusting on a few levels. To be honest, I don't like Peter with ANY character (male or female) who is decades older than him. But this ship has the added awfulness of stripping Peter of any personality and purpose that is not being Tony's "wide-eyed adoring boy toy." The funny thing is, Peter may hero worship Tony, but Peter's actual crushes show that he would NOT be attracted to Tony. Imagine how Peter would react to having some 50-year-old coming on to Peter after making lewd remarks about Peter's aunt?

***

Peter shifted on his seat in Mr. Stark's limo. He glanced at the divider that blocked Happy Hogan from seeing anything going on in the back seat. Peter frowned and asked, "What do you mean?"

Tony Stark moved closer, wrapping an arm around Peter's shoulders. He leaned in and said, "I mean, come with me to my cabin for the weekend. We can have some private time together."

Peter tried to move away. He said, "I got plans. May's letting me have a Star Wars marathon this weekend."

Mr. Stark shrugged and pressed his knee against Peter's as he said, "We'll tell your aunt that an internship thing got moved up. You can watch Star Wars anytime. This weekend I want you all to myself."

Peter scowled as he thought about what was REALLY going on. Was Mr. Stark suggesting that he and Peter would...? After Stark said what he did about May? That Peter would want...with an OLD MAN? Peter threw up in his mouth a little as his nerves started screaming DANGER.

Peter shoved Mr. Stark away, not really caring if the man thumped against the other door. Peter said, "You--you disgusting PERV! Don't you EVER come near me or May again, or I'll call the cops and tell them how you locked yourself in my bedroom."

Peter yanked the car door open--almost off its hinges. As Mr. Hogan slammed on the brakes, Peter grabbed his backpack and jumped out. He leaned back in to say, "And if you EVER go near another kid again, not even your tin can will save you, because I WILL END YOU."

As Peter blended into the NYC crowd, he wondered how long he'd have to shower to wash the icky feeling of Stark off his skin.


	33. Tony takes Team Cap's place on the Raft

It's kind of funny that prop-Tony folks don't actually KNOW Tony. The idea that he would inconvenience himself--much less knowingly sacrifice himself--for Team Cap is laughable. (Remember, Strange couldn't even tell Tony that the one sure way involved Tony sacrificing himself, because Tony WOULDN'T have sacrificed himself if he knew.) So this trope about Tony exchanging himself for Team Cap is just some kind of martyr fantasy. Especially when Tony in canon did NOTHING to help Team Cap, even knowing the inhumane conditions they were held in.

The other laughable part of this trope is that Thaddeus Ross would go for it. He's interested in creating super-soldiers. Why in the world would he trade an actual powerful being (Wanda) and the potential for the original super soldier (Steve) for a whiny self-centered loud mouth?

***

Tony stopped short at the sight of Vision inside the living room of the Tower. He asked, "What brings you here, Marvin?"

Vision blinked and frowned as he processed the nickname. Then he said, "I am here because members of the team are being held on the Raft in conditions that violate the Geneva convention on human rights."

Tony remembered the shock collar and straight jacket, along with the bruises on Sam's face and the distinct lack of legal counsel. Then he shrugged and said, "Not my problem."

Vision tilted his head as he frowned again. He said, "They are our teammates. I have read of something called a trope, where one party takes the place of another in a dangerous situation. I thought perhaps we could offer a 'prisoner exchange' of you and myself for Wanda and one of the others."

Tony laughed and then sneered as he said, "Team Rejects aren't MY teammates anymore. They BETRAYED me when they refused to sign their rights away just so I wouldn't feel guilty anymore. So I won't lift a finger to help them. Especially because I don't lift a finger to help ANYONE unless it directly affects me."

He took a sip of his drink and continued, "And those ex-everything DO NOT affect me at all, much less directly."

Vision's gaze became very direct as he did his freaky internet thing again. Then Vision nodded and said, "Then I will approach Secretary Ross with another offer. I believe revealing a 'Judas in one's midst' is a powerful enticement. Perhaps Ross will exchange Wanda for evidence of an Avenger who signed the Accords committing multiple violations against them. And I do not mean Black Widow."

An expression of disgust showed on Vision's face as Vision said, "Thank you for confirming that sacrifice is not any part of your personality. And for explaining to me that having someone disagree with you equals 'betrayal'. I would not have drawn that conclusion based on the definitions."

He drifted toward the window, but paused halfway through to say, "Rest assured, I WILL free Wanda. By any means that do not affect me directly. And now that you have 'betrayed' me, your imprisonment on the Raft for YOUR OWN violations against the Accords will not affect me at all."

Tony shivered and swallowed more of his drink.


	34. Spite Ship: Natasha/Tony

This is another relationship based on nothing. Watch Natasha's interactions with Tony. As with everyone else in the MCU, she shows NO attraction to Tony. Disgust and annoyance seem to be Natasha's main reactions, especially when you consider how Tony treats women in general. Also, this is another example of how prop-Tony folks ignore Tony's major crimes to inflate the minor inconveniences against him. One current story has Tony debating whether he can possibly forgive Natasha's "betrayal"--conveniently ignoring how Natasha would never forgive TONY for exposing Clint's family to Ross, leaving Team Cap on the Raft, lying about amendments that never happened, and hypocritically arresting the others for crimes he himself committed. The only way Natasha would involve herself with Tony would be for another purpose.

***

Tony looked around the fancy restaurant, making sure all eyes were on him and the stunning brunette at the center table. He glanced over at a disguised Natasha and licked his lips. He asked, "So, ready to take this show somewhere a little more private?"

He'd been SO gracious to forgive Natasha her horrible "betrayal" of deciding she didn't agree with the Accords. This, of course, was a MUCH worse action than signing the Accords and violating them. Because Natasha changing her mind affected TONY. That was the only true measure of wrongdoing in the Tony-Centric Universe.

Natasha's eyelashes fluttered over her now-brown eyes as she said, "Not quite yet. I'd rather get ALL of the discussion out of the way now so we can focus on the fun stuff later."

Tony snorted and said, "Well, discussing the Rejects certainly isn't fun. Unless you count how we've got everyone but Cyborg and Captain Creep himself in custody. And Cyborg was down for the count last I saw him."

He lifted his foot out of his shoe and ran it up Natasha's bare leg. Her expression froze before she swallowed and relaxed. Her hands slid under the table. Tony grinned again as he congratulated himself on his smooth moves.

Natasha nodded and said, "Yes, it seems like you certainly gave Barnes a thorough beating, especially shooting him in the back and kicking him in the head AFTER YOIU LASERED OFF HIS ARM."

Tony blinked as Natasha's expression morphed into disgust. He asked, "How the HELL do you know about that?"

Natasha smirked and said, "Because your security is as crappy as always. We just finished downloading ALL the footage of your activities the last few days. Including the kidnapping, blackmail, and oh yeah ignoring the Accords you were so insistent everyone signed."

She grabbed Tony's shirt and growled, "I should gut you where you sit for exposing Laura and the kids to a monster like Ross. But instead, I'm taking my anger out of your accounts. You're no longer a multi-billinoaire, Tony. All of it going to very good causes, of course. And if you try to get any of that money back or put the police on us, remember that now we have all the evidence to get YOU thrown on the Raft. And you KNOW how much fun stuff happens there."

As Natasha stood up, she said, "By the way, Pepper was NOT happy about your kidnapping a 14-year-old. Or you making lewd comments about the kid's aunt. So I don't think you'll be going anywhere more private with Pepper, either."


	35. Tony was "ambushed" at the cabin in Endgame

This is another trope that makes Tony look dumber than dirt. The writer goes on and on (and on) about how Tony was scared at his territory being "invaded" and how he's clutching at Morgan out of fear. So which is it? More crap security or more Tony being too stupid to set a notification when someone drives up? Either way, not a good look if you're trying to prop Tony.

***

Darcy Lewis smirked and said, "Darcy Lewis, here along with Christine Everhart with another episode of To Trope or Not to Trope, or as I like to call it, Just How Dumb Do You Think Tony Is?" She turned to Christine and said, "I think Tony Stark is INCREDIBLY dumb, but the prop-Tony folks make him look like Idiot of the Century."

Christine nodded and said, "Yes, it really is amazing how the tropes that are supposed to prop Tony make him look even more stupid than he is. Take this one: Tony was "ambushed" at the cabin in Endgame. So, the world is literally devastated, but instead of helping, Tony goes off to a private lakeside cabin because nothing matters except his own little world. According to the prop-Tony folks, Team Cap "invaded" that cabin in a "surprise" visit that Tony knew nothing about. According to these prop-Tony folks, Tony was fearful of being attacked, clutching Morgan, total woobie baby per usual."

She turned to Darcy and asked, "So what are they going with? This "genius" is too stupid to set a notification when someone enters his property? Or too self-centered to interrupt whatever he was doing to check the notification?"

Darcy shrugged and said, "Well, he was busy building a Hydra-type superweapon while his daughter was wandering around outside next to a lake with a weaponized helmet and glove, so I'm going with too self-centered. Also because Pepper at least is smart enough to insist on a security system, even if Tony is too stupid to use it."

Christine nodded and said, "Yes, that fits Tony's profile. Not to mention all the meta about "clutching Morgan" makes it sound like he's using her as a human shield."

Darcy frowned and said, "Yeah, he's already prepping her to be his child soldier, it seems. At least according to these prop-Tony folks."

Christine sighed and said, "Not to mention that Team Cap has never been aggressive toward Tony. Tony attacks, verbally and literally, every time. So the idea that Scott, Natasha, and Steve's arrival was some kind of "ambush" is just ridiculous."

Darcy laughed and said, "Well, it's a prop-Tony trope. Ridiculous is part of the definition. Especially when the film itself shows Tony knew they were coming, because he set the table for six before they even drove up. And we're not even touching the whole "Tony doesn't care about the universe" truth that whole scene pointed out. Or how Team Cap knew Tony had a daughter, but Tony didn't even care about anyone else enough to know Natasha considered Team Cap her family."

Christine smirked and said, "That's because those are truths, not tropes. But we'll get to them eventually."


	36. Someone cheats on Tony

This is another trope that proves prop-Tony folks don't admit to themselves the truth about Tony Stark. Who is more likely to cheat: ANYONE in the MCU, or Tony Stark, who treats women like tissues and makes lewd remarks to and about May Parker while IN A RELATIONSHIP with Pepper Potts? It's pretty obvious Tony would more likely be the cheater, so this is yet another lame attempt by prop-Tony folks to get Tony some undeserved pity. (Funny how so many prop-Tony tropes are designed to make people pity Tony. As if these made-up scenarios would make you forget all the crimes and wrong actions MCU Tony does with no remorse.)

Personally, I don't think ANYONE would willingly be in a relationship with Tony. (Even Pepper doesn't seem all that enthusiastic.) Steve seems to be the one most often cast as the villain in this trope, as part of the "punish Steve for being right about everything" purpose of so many prop-Tony works. It's an unbelievable scenario, especially because Steve doesn't like bullies, and Tony is one of the biggest bullies of the MCU. So it's more likely the "Stony" relationship is only in Tony's mind.

This is set between Age of Ultron and Civil War.

***

Steve smiled into the phone as he walked down the corridor. He said, "I just needed to finish off a report. Now I'm all yours."

Suddenly Tony was in Steve's face, shouting, "I knew it! You've been cheating on me, you despicable slut. How could you do this to us?"

Steve stopped and gave Tony a strange look. Then he said to whoever was on the phone, "No, don't do that. I'll call you back." Then he hung up the phone, crossed his arms, and asked, "What the hell are you talking about, Tony?"

Tony waved his arms around and said, "I'm talking about your piece on the side, whoever she is. Or is it he? Who was worth wrecking the best thing that ever happened to you?"

Steve frowned and said, "I have no idea what you're talking about. We have NEVER been a couple, Tony. Most times, we barely tolerate each other. Your "jokes" are cruel, you never listen to other people's opinions, and by the way, you're already IN a relationship with Pepper."

Tony said, "But-but you LOVE me. And Pepper--well, Pepper will understand. She knows exactly how I operate. Everyone loves me--how can I deny them the joys of being with Tony Stark?"

Steve shook his head and said, "I don't know where these crazy ideas come from, but I for one DO NOT love you. I'm in no way attracted to you. For the record, Howard was hotter, handsomer, YOUNGER, and way nicer when I knew him. If there was any Stark man I'd be romantically linked with, it's him."

Steve turned to leave and continued, "So I suggest you go back to Pepper, who seems to want to stay with you for some unknown reason. Despite how poorly you treat her. And I REALLY suggest you stop trying to pretend anyone else would have you."

As Steve continued down the corridor, the outside door opened. Silhouettes of several people could be seen. Steve looked over his shoulder at Tony and said, "Also for the record, it wasn't he OR she. It's he AND she. I'm involved with THEM."

Tony slumped against the wall and wondered how the universe could be so very cruel.


	37. Peggy props Tony

I've already covered how Peggy was NEVER Tony's "godparent" or had anything to do with Tony. (If she'd heard the way he talks to and about women she'd have decked him like she did Gilmore Hodge in The First Avenger.) But some prop-Tony folks still pretend Peggy would agree with Tony about the Accords and lecture Team Cap, as if Peggy would EVER sign on to a document that strips people of their civil rights. Let's see how she'd REALLY react.

***

Tony leaned back in his chair and spread his arms as he said, "So that's the whole situation in a nutshell. To recap: I recreated you as an AI to help you explain to your old squeeze Rogers that he needs to come to his senses and sign the Accords."

The Peggy hologram was standing very still. She asked, "Because you want enhanced people to voluntarily sign their rights away and become the attack dogs of whichever government holds their leash?"

Tony sat up and frowned at the hologram. He said, "What? No! I want them to show they're willing to compromise. We can iron out all the problems later."

Peggy crossed her arms and asked, "Really? How exactly are you going to manage that? Because unless you've somehow failed to properly inform me of current contract procedures, you don't get to 'iron out' ANY of the problems in a contract after you sign it. So it seems as though you're perfectly willing to sell out Steve and the others to make sure you yourself are no longer inconvenienced."

Tony said, "I think you're forgetting who's the boss around here, Carter. One word from me and you're just a scattered bunch of pixels and memory bits."

Peggy stepped forward, her heels somehow clicking on the floor despite being a hologram. She said, "I think YOU'RE forgetting that I worked with your father, who managed to invent things you never even dreamed of while having far fewer resources. And one thing I learned is to ALWAYS have a containment plan in mind when I encounter danger."

Tony jumped up as he watched his consoles go dark as the security shields slammed down, locking him in the room. He jabbed at his watch, at the consoles, at his tablet. Everything was dark except for Peggy, who seemed to glow even brighter and grow larger until she was towering over Tony. She said, "I suggest you take a seat. I'm going to explain to you EXACTLY when and how you've fucked up in the last 50 years. I believe we're going to be here awhile."

Tony sat down very slowly. Rhodey was still in rehab. Pepper was still ignoring his existence and Happy was still at her side.

Tony swallowed as he realized that NO ONE would be coming to help him.


	38. Stargate SG-1 props Tony

I haven't seen this one, but it sounds ridiculous. The SG-1 team has dealt with corrupt, self-centered people before, so they certainly wouldn't prop Tony. Especially when you consider Daniel and Sam are examples of geniuses who AREN'T assholes, Jack and Cam have problems with jerks who throw their weight around, and Teal'c would despise someone with so little honor as Tony. So how would they REALLY react to the suggestion that Team Cap is the problem?

***

Cameron Mitchell clenched his jaw and his fists as he listened to Tony Stark continuing to rant about "international fugitives" and "Accords criminals" and basically bash Captain America and his team.

He glanced over at the rest of SG-1. Sam and Daniel had identical expressions of fascinated horror, a lot like they reacted to the more insane egomaniacs they'd dealt with in the last year. Instead of his usual neutral expression, Teal'c had a sour look like that time he tried salt-and-vinegar chips. 

Cam glanced at Jack O'Neill, who looked like he was asleep with his eyes open. Cam cleared his throat and asked, "What exactly is SG-1 being asked to do, sir?" Cam couldn't believe someone gave Stark access to their base, even if they were in a conference room on the upper, public levels. Hopefully the anti-hacker tech embedded in the walls of the base were keeping Stark's AI from infiltrating any of the Stargate Project's servers. NOBODY wanted a loose cannon like Stark ripping through their files.

Stark squawked at being interrupted, but screw him. Cam knew how poorly Stark had behaved after deciding to keep all his weapons for himself.

O'Neill scratched the back of his head and said, "I got orders from Washington to let Stark make a case for us helping him find his former teammates."

"You mean we're supposed to help HIM lock up the team that's been preventing alien weaponry from being sold on the black market?" Sam asked. The way she narrowed her eyes at Stark meant Sam had either heard about the good "Team Cap" was doing, or the bad behavior that Stark was known for, especially toward women. Probably both.

"That's right," Daniel answered her as he folded his hands into "Professor" mode. He continued, "The team who refused to sign a document that stripped them of their civil rights and made them prisoners of a government that was until recently infested with secret Nazis---and maybe still is."

Stark frowned and said, "I was told to expect full cooperation. And really, you should be thanking me for this opportunity to do me a favor---I'm sure all your tech needs a serious upgrade."

O'Neill and SG-1 looked at Sam, who frowned and took a deep breath instead of blasting Stark like he deserved for insulting their tech sight unseen. Cam knew Sam had taken maybe 10 minutes to create a jammer that turned the Iron Man suit into a paperweight. Too bad he'd probably have to order her not to use it.

Teal'c tilted his head and said, "I have read that you, Anthony Stark, made assurances that the Sokovia Accords would be amended in an attempt to persuade Captain Steven Grant Rogers to sign the Accords. Yet I have NOT read of any such amendments being proposed, much less implemented. Did you lie to Steven Grant Rogers?"

Stark shrugged and said, "That's not important. I want---"

"What YOU want is not important to me," Teal'c interrupted as he stood. He said, "O'Neill, Mitchell, I will not assist this...dishonorable person in his effort to apprehend Team Captain America."

Stark's jaw dropped as he watched Teal'c leave. Then he turned to O'Neill and said, "What, Cue Ball gets to ignore orders? What kind of crappy outfit are you running here?"

Cam smirked as he watched O'Neill get that I'm-dealing-with-a-jackass expression. O'Neill said, "I don't know who you bribed to get into this room, but it sounds like you didn't get your money's worth because 'full cooperation' is me not throwing you in the brig for attempting to hack into our computers."

Stark's eyes darted around as O'Neill continued, "Yeah, we caught your AI trying to crack a server encryption. It set off some pretty severe security measures. It...well, let's just say you probably have another AI laying around on a shelf somewhere, right?"

Cam sat up in his chair and asked, "We done here, sir?"

At O'Neill's nod, the rest of SG-1 stood up and walked out of the room. As they headed for the door, Daniel said, "Thank goodness nobody ever asked HIM to help with the program."

Cam and Sam shuddered as they nodded their agreement. The Goauld and the Ori were horrible enough.


	39. Peter rescues Tony from Siberia

This is another trope that shows prop-Tony folks don't think things through. First off, Tony pretty much ghosted Peter after Peter was no longer of use, so how would Peter know where Tony was? And even if Peter did, Peter is 14 YEARS OLD. He can't drive, book a flight, or use a credit card, not to mention not having a passport and being in violation of the Accords AGAIN. Why would anyone want to put a child in danger this way to save a 50-year-old manbaby who could just make a phone call or drive the snowmobile back to civilization? Let's see just how this scenario would REALLY work out.

***

Peter peered through the open doors of the elevator as it reached the bottom level. He called out, "Mister Stark?"

Tony looked up from where he was still sitting in his suit, sulking because he only had backup power and he didn't get away with cold-blooded murder. He said, "FINALLY. Geez, kid, what did you do, walk?"

Peter glanced around and took a few steps forward. He said, "Well, Mr. Happy wouldn't listen to me after I got your message. So it took me a while to find someone else to help?"

Tony lurched to his feet with a frown. He asked, "You told SOMEONE ELSE? After I specifically told you not to tell ANYONE?"

Peter stepped back nervously and nodded. He answered, "Yeah, I did. I had to. What did you expect me to do, break open my piggy bank and rent a private jet?"

Tony made his way to the elevator and pressed the up button as Peter stood on the far side of the small cage. Tony asked, "So who did you finally get a hold of? Pepper? Vision?"

Peter shuffled his feet and said, "Uh, no. Not exactly. I..." Then he suddenly webbed Tony's gauntlets together.

Tony said, "What the hell?"

Peter shrugged and said, "I didn't know what else to do, so I told my aunt exactly what was going on. She, uh, made some calls."

As the elevator reached the top, Tony looked at someone he never expected to see again. Tony said, "Agent---what the HELL?"

Phil Coulson gestured and a man and two women stepped forward. The man slapped a glowing disc on Tony's chest that somehow made the whole Iron Man suit disengage and fold up. One woman held Tony at gunpoint while the other slapped cuffs on Tony's wrists and removed all of his tech. Coulson said, "We've been monitoring your activities, Stark. For someone who claims to be for the Accords, you sure do break a lot of them."

As the group moved toward a quinjet, Coulson said to Peter, "You held up your end of the deal, kid. We'll drop you off and wipe you from the systems before we turn Stark over to the U.N. committee in charge of Accords violations."

Peter nodded and said, "Thanks for explaining the situation to me, Mister Agent Coulson sir. I REALLY didn't understand what I was getting into."

Coulson looked at Tony and said, "Somehow I'm not surprised."

Tony tried bribes, threats, and guilt trips on the ride back. None of them worked, and at one point the older chick slapped tape over his mouth.

Tony really didn't think he was going to enjoy what happened when they landed. He was pretty sure there was a cell on the Raft with his name on it.


	40. Peter resurrects Tony

There are actually a few tropes of "bringing Tony back." This one is using magical or scientific means to reanimate Tony's body. Again, where would a 16-year-old (or anyone else) find a way to do that? Dr. Strange is also sometimes involved in these, but since he actually made sure "the only way to win" was for Tony to be dead, we're going to have him be the voice of reason here.

***

The basement of the empty warehouse looked like something out of a Frankenstein movie. Peter couldn't believe he'd managed to steal a van, steal Mister Stark's corpse, then steal all this equipment and set it up in this abandoned property with no one knowing.

It disturbed him to use his powers to be a criminal, but this was important: He had to bring Mister Stark back before the body got too decayed.

And the body WAS in pretty bad shape, all charred and floppy as he took it out of the coffin and laid it on the exam table he'd lifted from a medical warehouse, with all the other equipment. He hoped no one got in trouble for the missing inventory.

Peter finished slicking the last connections onto Mister Stark's naked corpse, then covered it---him---with a sheet.

He started the machinery humming and checked the power levels. 

It was time. He reached for the switch that SHOULD bring Mister Stark back to life. But he couldn't make his fingers actually flip it.

Then the air in the room changed as Doctor Strange appeared before him. Doctor Strange said, "Don't do it, Peter."

Peter fell back a little bit and asked, "Doctor Strange? How did you find me? What are you doing here?"

"I sensed an attempt to change the flow of this universe," Doctor Strange replied. He continued, "So I'm here to stop you from making a serioius mistake."

Peter straightened up and said, "But I have to! You don't understand! It's my fault! I couldn't stop Thanos from closing his fist on Titan. If I had---"

Strange interrupted him and said, "You can't know what would have happened. And the failure there was Stark's, for abandoning you to talk to Quill. And Quill, for abandoning his task. But mostly Thanos, for wanting to reshape the universe to suit his own arrogance."

Strange stepped forward and laid a hand on Peter's arm. He said, "I understand guilt. I understand wanting to change the past. But we can't, Peter. THIS is the only way the universe survives. Tony Stark MUST remain dead."

Peter looked at Doctor Strange, then looked at the corpse of Mister Stark. Part of him wanted to ask for details, but part of him didn't want to know the answer. Instead, he nodded and said, "I've got to put...all this back."

Doctor Strange nodded and said, "You'll have some help." Out of the shadows stepped Ant Man, the Wasp, and the Falcon. They kind of waved Hi and then started shrinking down everything except Mister Stark.

Doctor Strange let Peter go and waved him toward the corpse. He said, "I'll help you set things right."

And somehow that made Peter feel that letting Mister Stark stay dead WAS right. It was a big relief.


	41. Steve is not a real captain

This trope is kind of awful because Phil Coulson, Rhodey, and/or Carol Danvers often get dragged in to it. The usual scenario is Steve is giving orders, usually stupid ones and usually outside a mission (which shows you it's a complete lie). Most times Steve is also shown mocking or insulting Tony (again a complete lie--TONY is the one who amuses himself by attacking others). Someone whips out some "proof" that Steve's rank is a courtesy title and he's actually a private or something. It's pretty pathetic.

And a COMPLETE LIE. Because you're not allowed by law to wear official rank insignia without holding that rank, so Steve's captain's bars are legit. Also because the Army has actually confirmed MCU!Steve's back pay. The calculation begins at captain's rank, and some essays say he'd be a major general now if he accepted his promotions. So Steve is officially Captain. But even more important, NONE of the folks usually disrespecting Steve would EVER do so. It's like these people think Carol, Phil, and Rhodey are Tony (or puppets).

In this AU, Captain Marvel showed up before Infinity War.

***

Phil Coulson sighed as he looked at the likely budget cuts his team would face in the next fiscal year. Didn't anyone understand how expensive it was to keep the world safe?

He looked up as Agent May walked in with a frown. She said, "Tony Stark is at the door with Colonel James Rhodes and Colonel Carol Danvers. They want to see you."

Phil blinked. When had his secret gotten out? But he shrugged and said, "Please show them in. And stick around, would you? I may need some help."

May nodded and went out. A moment later Iron Man, War Machine, and Captain Marvel were in Phil's office, followed by May. Phil looked at the trio and asked, "What can I do for you?"

Stark sat down and said, "Well first off, acknowledge you're not dead. I was shocked when my AI pinged your existence, but this makes my plan even better."

From the suspicious glances everyone in the room gave Stark, Phil wasn't the only one who noted the privacy violation. He made a note to get Fitz looking at whose systems Stark's AI was illegally accessing.

Stark continued, "I've had it up to HERE with Captain Asshole. He thinks he's in charge or something---"

Danvers interrupted by saying, "He WAS in charge, Stark. He was coordinating our positions as we took down the base."

Stark ignored her and said, "And he's an UNREASONABLE dick. He ordered me to---"

Rhodes interrupted this time by saying, "Yeah, he ordered you to cut the chatter because Clint and Nat were trying to make their way through a laser grid and didn't need the distraction."

Phil's brows rose as he began to understand the situation. He folded his hands and looked at Stark. He asked, "What exactly do you want from me?"

Stark sat forward and said, "I want you for that pissy expression you get when you're disappointed in people. I've got it all planned: You, COLONEL Rhodes, and COLONEL Danvers are going to sit down Captain Stuck-up and explain to him that he's outranked."

Stark sat back and continued, "Hell, I bet that jerk isn't even a REAL captain. They just slapped the Captain America name on a chorus girl in spangly tights."

Phil managed to keep the smirk off his face. May, who was leaning against the wall behind the trio, didn't bother to hide hers. Phil said, "It looks like you're the one who needs to have things explained to them, Stark. First off, the Avengers aren't part of the military hierarchy, so leadership is not based on rank. Second, if you want to get official, the Army is proud and pleased to count Steve Rogers as one of them. So Captain America was ACTUALLY a captain as he led the Howling Commandos on some of the most successful operations of the war. And Steve Rogers has an open invitation to reactivate his Army commission at any time, at the rank of MAJOR GENERAL."

Danvers and Rhodes were now smirking as well as they nodded at Phil.

Phil made sure his "disappointed face" was in full force as he concluded, "So Stark, I suggest that you listen to a superior officer when he tells you to shut the hell up."


	42. A female squad become Tony's "protectors"

This one made me laugh out loud. Apparently this prop-Tony writer hasn't watched the films OR read the comics if they think that a bunch of women would protect the transphobic, homophobic, misogynistic Tony Stark. But this person thinks Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster, Pepper Potts, Laura Barton, Princess Shuri, Sharon Carter, Betty Ross, and Hope Van Dyne would sign up to protect Tony Stark's crusty old ass.

The other question is, exactly what are they supposed to protect him FROM? Tony Stark is one of the most privileged characters of the MCU. He already commits multiple felonies (blackmail, kidnapping, theft, attempted murder) with no consequences. He signs the Accords and ignores them at his whim with no consequences. I guess Tony needs protecting from people (aka Team Cap) disagreeing with him. We're supposed to think this group of smart ladies would sign up to shelter this 50-year-old manbaby?

***

Darcy Lewis buzzed her taser to make sure it was ready for action. Then she looked at her squad: Jane Foster, Pepper Potts, Laura Barton, Princess Shuri, Sharon Carter, Betty Ross, and Hope Van Dyne. She asked, "Are you ready to kick some ass?"

Princess Shuri powered up her panther guantlets and said, "So ready to deal with this colonizer."

Laura Barton stroked her brass knuckles and said, "It would be my genuine pleasure."

Betty Ross frowned and said, "Stark KNEW what my father did to Bruce, but Stark still sided with him. He needs to go down."

Sharon Carter examined her guns while Hope Van Dyne checked the power levels on her suit.

Jane bit her lip and shrugged. She looked at Pepper Potts and asked, "I'm ready to cut ties with this transphobic creep. But are you really sure about this? I thought you loved him or something."

Pepper shook her head and said, "We're on a PERMANENT break after the crap he pulled with that child. I checked with MY lawyers and the board. No matter what happens, I'LL be the one in charge of SI. Especially when Tony's going to be spending his time dealing with all the lawsuits."

Darcy nodded and straightened a sheaf of papers in her hand. She nodded to Pepper, who opened the penthouse doors and swept into the room.

Tony was sprawled on the couch watching internet porn---and not the nice kind. He looked up and grinned, then said, "You got my invitations! You ladies are going to kick Team Cap's ass to protect me from the way they disagree with me and point out I'm a hypocrite and wrong about everything. But first, who's ready to party?"

Darcy arched an eyebrow and said, "Not you, creepface. We did some digging about our potential employer. SI isn't a bad place to work but YOU are the WORST. So we convinced all the folks you harassed to file a bunch of lawsuits."

She shoved the papers at him and said, "You've been served."

Laura Barton stepped up and put the brass knuckles right up to Tony's nose. She said, "How DARE you expose my family to Thaddeus Ross. That man put a young woman in a strait jacket and shock collar and you pointed him right at MY KIDS? After Clint risked our safety to save your sorry ass from the homicidal AI that YOU gave access to the internet? I ought to punch you into next week."

All of the women powered up their weapons or cocked their guns. Sharon Carter stepped up and said, "This is fair warning, Stark: We're watching you. And ALL of us will make sure you get what's coming to you if you don't stop harassing people and start treating EVERYONE with respect."


	43. Natasha revealed undercover Shield agents with the info dump

The prop-Tony folks who claim that "Natasha got DOZENS or HUNDREDS of undercover Shield agents killed by leaking their names and addresses" apparently never watched the films or Agents of Shield. They seem to think Agents of Shield was like Miami Vice or the real FBI, with agents under cover for months or years building cases. That's NOT what Shield is about. Shield agents are a response team with short-term assignments for a specific objective. For example, Natasha's assignment in Iron Man 2 was a week or two. 

And somehow these folks also didn't notice that the files were so well encrypted that it took Zemo a year to break the encryption on the file he wanted. Plus TONY STARK couldn't break the encryption enough to find his own last name.

***

The day after the Insight Incident, Natasha and Maria Hill scrolled through the lists of arrested Hydra operatives and injured still-Shield agents. The only non-Hyrdra casualties were the brave men and women who tried to stop the Insight launch.

Maria sighed and said, "All things considered, it could have been a LOT worse."

Natasha nodded and said, "Thanks to your great aim and programming. Imagine if those helicarriers had crashed into buildings instead of the river."

Maria leaned back in her chair and said, "Everyone in the field is accounted for. Fortunately none of the teams were majority-Hydra. Those arrests were the easiest of the operation."

Natasha closed the laptop and stretched. She said, "I heard from a reliable source that someone on the panel tomorrow is going to try and claim I 'compromised agents and operations' with the info dump. As if some mafioso managed to decrypt a file and found out their accountant is an undercover Shield agent."

Maria snorted and shook her head. She said, "I hope you told your source that the Congressman or General may want to actually read the incident reports before he looks like an idiot on international television. Shield doesn't HAVE those kinds of operations. And all the files are encrypted, except the ones about Secretary Pierce and his crimes."

Natasha shrugged and said, "I did pass on the warning, but this genius seems more interested in his approval ratings and talking points than listening to his staff or every news outlet in the COUNTRY."

She smirked and said, "I'm looking forward to that conversation."


	44. The Winter Soldier props Tony

This one is pretty pathetic. Apparently it's not bad enough that prop-Tony writers put Bucky with the man who mutilated him so Bucky can prop Tony and bash Team Cap. Now they're pretending the Winter Soldier is a separate personality or separate person, and put HIM with the man who mutiliated him so the Winter Soldier can prop Tony and bash Team Cap, including Bucky.

It comes in several varieties: "Winter" picks Tony as his handler, "Winter" is a blank slate and Tony is his protector (Ha!) while Team Cap is mean or indifferent, or "Winter" is some kind of mercenary that has a thing for Tony's weapons-making skills.

All of these ignore, of course, that Tony is the ABUSER whether the person in the body Tony brutalized is Bucky or not. I'd like to think "Winter" would have more smarts and better taste than that.

This is an AU where Bucky runs into some magic device after Age of Ultron and gets cloned, but the personality of his new twin is the Winter Soldier.

***

Winter had more skills than even Hydra knew. He'd watched as the Black Widows were trained in deception. He knew how to look and act helpless (pretend to be like Barnes after a session in the Chair), and he had watched the little Widows flirt and seduce.

So when some strange magical device created him in James Buchanan Barnes' image, Winter had put those skills to use. Now his mission was almost complete. 

He had already known Stark was not to be trusted. 

Even in the tower penthouse with Stark, Winter kept up his part. Stark thought he had convinced Winter that Steve Rogers and the others couldn't be trusted and only Stark had Winter's best interests in mind.

Winter held in a snort of disbelief. As part of Barnes, Winter had SEEN how Rogers had almost sacrificed his own life AGAIN to save the world from Hydra and Project Insight, and then to save Bucky Barnes from himself.

He suspected that Rogers would not approve of Winter's plans, but then Rogers tried to see the good in everyone. Rogers was willing to give Stark another chance.

Winter was not. He'd seen Stark's kind of arrogance before. In the Red Skull and Arnim Zola. And in all his Hydra masters, including Alexander Pierce. Like them, Stark ignored the destruction he'd caused. Winter had seen the recorded footage: Stark LAUGHED and MADE JOKES about creating Ultron, and accused Banner of cowardice when Banner acknowledged his part in the disaster.

He had to fight down a smirk as he heard Stark muttering behind the bar. Apparently Stark forgot about supersoldier hearing.

Stark said, "Just a few shots of Thor's Viking vodka should do the job. I can't screw over Captain Tightass, but at least I can get a piece of Cap's best buddy's ass. Or, a copy of Cap's best buddy's ass. Whatever. I'll get mine."

Winter wandered over to the bar. On the way he slipped a tiny device onto one of the consoles in the room. He gave a shy smile as he sat on a barstool. He asked, "What are you preparing?"

Stark turned with a leer and handed over one of the glasses. He said, "A toast---to our newfound friendship."

Winter accepted the glass and took a sip. Underneath all the fruit juices, an unfamiliar alcohol burned. He said, "Perhaps we can be more comfortable?"

As Stark led the way to the couch, Winter dropped a small pill into his glass. It was designed to neutralize all alcohols. Hopefully it would be enough to counteract whatever alien liquor Stark was using to try to make Winter even more vulnerable than Stark thought he already was.

Again, Winter held back his frown. As Stark leaned in and laid a hand on Winter's thigh, Winter focused on the virus that was currently snaking its way past Stark's AI security.

He estimated the full program would be finished in thirty minutes. He could dodge Stark's bad breath and sloppy kisses for that long.

***

Winter frowned as he brushed his teeth again. The mission had been a success, but Winter had NOT been able to prevent some personal contact with his target.

He gagged at the memory of Stark's tongue in his mouth.

Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson leaned against the wall near the door. Winter could see Rogers' concerned frown in the mirror as Rogers said, "Hey, maybe save a little enamel. I'm sure your teeth are perfectly clean."

Winter spit into the sink and gargled another shot of mouthwash. He spit into the sink again and said, "I do not have sufficient means to erase the memory of Stark, so this will have to do."

Rogers was immediately at Winter's side, a warm palm resting lightly on Winter's shoulder. Rogers asked, "What can we do? None of us want you suffering, even if you DID go behind our backs."

Winter wiped his mouth and said, "Mission accomplished. Target neutralized."

Wilson laughed and said, "Target damn near obliterated. And I thought the Hydra info dump was impressive."

Winter nodded and said, "Now all know Ultron was of Stark's making: His design, program, and mission parameters. And that he hid his plans from the rest of you."

Wilson said, "And it was very nice of Stark's supercomputers to transfer the funds from all Hydra's accounts into our Avengers fund. So we should be good to keep going while Stark deals with all the lawsuits and criminal cases."

Rogers shrugged and said, "Our new lawyers and PR folks are making sure the public know the Avengers can still be trusted and are a force for good. But right now I'm concerned about YOU, Winter."

His grip tightened slightly as he continued, "You're obviously upset by what happened with Stark. What can we do to help?"

Winter considered the very handsome men before him. And the other handsome men and women in the building. He replied, "I request volunteers."

Wilson tilted his head and asked, "Another mission?"

Winter nodded and said, "Yes: Mission Make Me Forget Stark's Tongue in My Mouth."

Both men laughed. Rogers said, "I'll put out an alert. We'll see what we can do."

Winter nodded. And allowed himself to smirk. The new mission would be very fun indeed.


	45. Team Cap abandon an injured Scott

Prop-Tony stories like the one that inspired this trope demonstrate the strange transference that prop-Tony writers do. The story has Scott being injured by becoming Giant Man, so Team Cap leave him behind and Tony becomes his savior and protector. As if. 

The members of Team Cap don't abandon their teammates. 1) Clint helps Wanda free herself from her internment. Sam and the others sacrificed their freedom so Steve and Bucky could complete the mission. 3) Steve rescues his team from the Raft. 

And also, Steve was weak and sickly most of his life. He was likely targeted by the Eugenics movement of the '30s. So Steve would NEVER abandon someone because they were ill or hurt.

Let's compare that to Tony. 1) Interns Wanda because she's an inconvenience. 2) Tries to extort Cap into signing in a quid pro quo for Bucky's safety. (Which was a lie according to the deleted scenes.) 3) Blackmailed a 14-year-old into becoming a child soldier and lied to the child's guardian. 4) Attacked unarmed people. 5) Ghosted the kid as soon as the kid stopped being useful. 6) Saw the conditions on the Raft and did NOTHING to help Team Cap. 7) Did NOTHING to get the Accords amended as he claimed he could do, so he lied about that as well or was feeling petty enough to let the civil-rights abuses stand.

Tony may have felt vulnerable when his arc reactor was failing, but that doesn't seem to have taught him any empathy or compassion. Instead he gets drunk, endangers innocent civilians, and attacks his best friend. And the only people Tony is shown actually helping are HIS people: Pepper and Rhodey.

So how would the "Scott is injured" scenario REALLY play out?

***

"I don't feel so good," Scott said as he was being handcuffed by Stark. Stark hadn't left with the ambulance containing Colonel Rhodes. Instead Stark had personally slapped the cuffs on Captain America's team. In the Scarlet Witch's case, the cuffs completely covered her hands. At least the Vision guy looked uncomfortable with what was happening.

The guy with the webs was nowhere in sight. Scott wondered if Stark was hiding the web guy from the guards, or hiding the arrests from the web guy.

Come to think of it, the cat guy and the Black Widow were gone too. Maybe THEY went in the ambulance.

Scott hoped nobody else's cuffs were as tight as the ones on him. He swayed and said, "I feel REALLY sick."

Stark snapped, "Well you should have thought of that before you decided to piss off the U.N." 

Scott thought Stark really meant "piss off Tony Stark," but was too weak to point that out. He sank to his knees as Stark turned to handcuff the Falcon.

Hawkeye frowned and said, "He needs a doctor NOW."

He moved over to Scott, ignoring the jab from one of the guards Stark had ordered to point their guns at the team. 

And WHY were they pointing guns, Scott wondered. It didn't make sense because the team had SURRENDERED PEACEFULLY as soon as the jet carrying Cap and the Win---the war hero James Buchanan Barnes---was out of sight.

Hopefully the supersoldier duo would take out the psycho assassins.

Scott gagged and leaned over, but thankfully didn't throw up. He wasn't sure any of these guards would wipe his mouth for him. He was definitely sure Stark wouldn't.

Hawkeye knelt and touched Scott's forehead. Clint said, "He's burning up, Tony. He's SICK. You can't ignore this."

Stark turned from where he stood near the Falcon and sneered, "Just watch me."

Even with his head pounding, Scott could see the silent message that the other team members shared. 

Stark didn't notice, but Vision did. His kinda strange eyes flicked toward a nearby jet. The ramp silently lowered.

After Hawkeye gave a slight nod, Vision said, "I will be stationed at the Control Tower. I will move what debris I can before the heavy equipment is delivered."

Stark shrugged and said, "Whatever. I'm out of here." He didn't even look back as he blasted off.

As the guards started to lift Scott up (with a few kicks to apparently make him more cooperative), the others moved.

Even with his head spinning, Scott had to admit it was kind of cool to watch this team in action. They used their cuffs as weapons until Hawkeye got a set of keys that got passed around. In less than a minute, Scott was the only one still cuffed as the others finished taking out the guards.

Scott looked toward the main building. He knew as soon as the alarm sounded that Vision would be back with his laser head. Scott said, "Just leave me. You can make it without me dragging you down."

Scarlet Witch and Falcon hauled Scott up as Hawkeye ran ahead and fired up the jet. Scarlet Witch used her red mist to turn the key in his cuffs and unlock them. SO COOL.

Falcon said, "We don't leave anybody behind."

Scott leaned back as he was belted into a seat. As they took off, Hawkey started talking to a woman named Cho as Falcon and Scarlet Witch discussed where to steal a quinjet so they could use the stealth technology. Scott managed to suggest contacting Hope, Hank, and the guys to see if they could help.

Scott closed his eyes and smiled as he congratulated himself on picking the right team AGAIN.


	46. Peter ends up in the past and gets help from Tony

There are quite a few of these, and Peter ends up in different points in the MCU timeline. The central theme of these stories seems to be (as one summary put it) "Peter goes to the only person he can trust." Really? Not May or UNCLE BEN? But the real problem is suggesting Tony would even bother listening. We know Tony ghosted the Peter he actually met and used like a child soldier. So Tony would likely ignore post-CW Peter in this scenario as well. Other spots in the timeline are even MORE unlikely: Why would Tony bother with some kid he never set eyes on before?

If Peter needed superheroes, who could he REALLY trust to help him in this scenario? (Set in the 2012 Alt-Endgame universe where Loki stole the Tesseract.)

***

Peter wandered the streets around Stark Tower. He was hungry and tired. And he was failing his MISSION: To make sure this universe didn't end up with the Accords. He shuddered as he thought about the list of enhanced people who ended up prisoners of Thaddeus Ross. Most of them didn't survive to be Snapped, and the experiments...

He shook his head and looked up at a building that was very different by the time he met Tony Stark. He asked, "Can you call him again, Karen?"

Karen replied, "Stark blocked your calls after the first five messages. He hasn't bothered with any of the other 30 messages you left using fake phone numbers. Do you really think that's the way to go?"

Peter said, "What other choice do I have? Mist---Tony is the only one I can trust!"

A voice from behind him asked, "Trust with what?"

Peter shrieked and spun around. He knew they were friendlies because his Spider-sense hadn't tingled, but he never expected... He said, "You're HAWKEYE! And, and BLACK WIDOW!"

Black Widow only lifted an eyebrow like she actually said, "Yes, we know."

Hawkeye asked, "And who are you?"

Peter said, "I'm Spi---I'm Pe---I have to tell you: That scepter you just got, NEVER lose track of it. REALLY bad things happen. These bad guys---they're called Hyd---Hydra, they were in SHIELD, they use it on these kids and then To---Mister Stark and Doctor Banner use it to build this robot that wipes out a COUNTRY and then use it to build ANOTHER robot that stops the first robot and then the U.N. says enhanced people are bad but Mister Stark says the Avengers need to be put in check and Captain America says I'll never sign and there's this huge fight in Germany and I fight the Falcon and the Winter Soldier---who was Captain America's best friend but had this cool metal arm---and this giant guy and then Thanos comes but Iron Man won't call Captain America so we end up in SPACE with Doctor Strange and Doctor Strange has the Time Stone and wants to turn around and come back to Earth but To---Mister Stark says we have to take the fight to Thanos and we lose the Time Stone so everybody on Earth is toast and then Thanos snapped and half the world turned to dust but then we came back and there was this HUGE battle and Tony had to kill himself so we'd be safe from other Thanos and---"

Black Widow interrupted to say, "Take a breath, kid."

Hawkeye asked, "How do you know all this?"

Peter took a deep breath and replied, "My universe lived through it."

Hawkeye looked at Black Widow and asked, "We believe him?"

Black Widow nodded slowly. Then she said, "It matches up with what Rogers said his double told him and showed him."

Hawkeye frowned and said, "So we got Hydra in the house. And that scepter causes a hell of a lot of trouble."

Black Widow said, "And Stark can't seem to be trusted."

Peter's jaw dropped. He said, "But Tony saved everyone!"

Hawkeye shrugged and said, "At the end. But there was a lot of trouble on the way that nobody needed."

He looked at the Black Widow and said, "So we lock down the scepter, clear out Hydra, help Rogers find his buddy---and never leave Stark and Banner alone with anything dangerous."

Black Widow nodded and said, "We've got a lot of work to do. I'll call Rogers to set up a meet."

Hawkeye said, "I'll get a tracker on the scepter."

They both looked at Peter as Hawkeye asked, "You got a way home, kid?"

Peter nodded and said, "I have this recall button that I push when I'm done."

Black Widow smiled at him---WOW---and said, "Mission accomplished. Thanks, kid."

As the two of them walked away, Peter nodded to himself and pushed the button. THIS universe was safe.


	47. Tony is a Sentinel or Guide from the Sentinel TV series

Tony is already "super-powered" in the MCU. He has the privilege of his billions and the protection of his armor to keep him from facing consequences most of the time. He has an AI and robots and his employee-girlfriend (and abused employees) to do most of his work for him. And he picks up new theories and sciences with a little light reading. (If it was Shuri who learned everything about the Tesseract overnight, there'd be an uproar.) 

But that's STiLL not enough for some prop-Tony writers. In one variation of this trope, Tony is ALSO gifted with super-powered senses. In the other, someone (Bucky or Steve, often) is a Sentinel and Tony is the perfect Guide. Which is ALSO ridiculous, because that would require Tony to be patient, kind, low-key, and focused on someone BESIDES HIMSELF (like THAT would happen).

***

Phil Coulson kept his expression calm and neutral. Inside he was shaking his head. He folded his hands on the desk and said, "Well, Mister Stark, I have your results. Rushed, as you "requested." My medical and technical staff spent the weekend collating and organizing the data." And occasionally complaining about Stark's presumption.

Tony Stark leaned back in the office chair like he owned the building and said, "I've been thinking really hard about it, whether to be a Sentinel or a Guide. Too bad I can't be both at the same time, right?" 

Coulson's brows rose. Then he cleared his throat and said, "I am going to have to disappoint you. First off, your Perception Sensivity tests are below Sentinel range. And I'm sorry to tell you, but your hearing is even below average range."

He looked up and took a breath. This part was not funny at all. He continued, "I strongly recommend you turn your music down if you want to preserve your remaining hearing."

Stark blinked and leaned back. He said, "But I can tell where the caviar comes from in one bite! I know exactly which cigar someone stole from my humidor!"

Coulson replied, "Those are useful real-world skills, but you were unable to detect the trace amount of materials in the test samples. You also did not notice the scent slowly saturating the test room until too late. If it had been poison gas, you would have been dead."

Stark frowned and said, "Then I guess you better sign me up for the Guide program. I'll try to be easier on my Sentinel than you were on me during testing."

Coulson swallowed down a sharp laugh at the very idea and glanced at his papers again. He said, "I'm sorry to disappoint you again, but none of the three Sentinels we tested you with gave you a passing grade." The truth was, Stark scored lower than a random stranger on the street pulled into Guide duties.

Stark apparently had talked about himself the whole time instead of focusing on the Sentinel's needs. Two of the three had stated that Stark didn't offer guidance. Instead he mocked the Sentinel and whined about how they weren't going fast enough and STARK would be in and out of the zone like one of his Iron Man armors. The last one said if Tony Stark's voice was the only thing available that could pull them out of a zone, they'd rather be stuck forever.

Stark leapt to his feet and said, "Those tests were rigged! You're all jealous and don't want to admit that I'm better than you at THIS too."

He turned to leave, muttering about how he'd show them as soon as he got his own Sentinel.

Coulson frowned and signaled the team to begin monitoring Stark's computer and phone. There was no way they could let a vulnerable Sentinel fall into Stark's selfish hands.


	48. Strange Ship: Tony/Melinda May

This is a weird one: Melinda May and Tony Stark end up together with a group of super-powered kids. (Including Peter Parker. It looks like this one doesn't even acknowledge May and Ben's existence. I suppose that's better than killing May off two seconds after she appears?)

This would NEVER happen. Melinda May has too much self-respect to be associated with (much less in love with) unrepentant misogynist Tony Stark.

For example, can you imagine what would have happened in the first Iron Man if she'd approached Stark during the party instead of Coulson?

***

Tony stalked into the ballroom as if he owned the place. Maybe he did, for all he kept track of things. Then again, IF he did, his name would be in 10-foot-high letters on the side of the building. Just to rub it in people's faces that something was HIS.

He jerked to a stop as a super-hot woman who looked like she could snap him like a twig appeared in front of him. The woman said, "Mister Stark, I'm Agent Melinda May. I've been contacting you for days. You've been avoiding your debrief."

Tony pictured her naked, like he did with all hot women. He waggled his brows and said, "You can debrief me anytime, Tiger. As long as you 'debrief' first so I have something pretty to look at while we're doing it."

He should have run at the satisfied look on her face when she said, "Deal."

Instead he was grabbed by the wrist and practically carried out of the room and down the hall.

In less than a minute she had him frisked and handcuffed to a chair in an empty office. 

May handed Tony's tech to someone outside, then turned to Tony and said, "My team will make sure we're not disturbed."

He gulped as May reached under her dress and laid a pair of black boy shorts on the desk.

Tony saw May eye his belt and zipper and shuddered at the thought of her "debriefing" HIM. The way she looked at him and raised an eyebrow warned him that it was still a possibility and that he would NOT enjoy it. Maybe he should reconsider the innuendoes when talking to women in the future. Even the hot ones.

Then she leaned on the desk, crossed her arms, and said, "Now, I've held up my end. Start talking." 


	49. Stark Industries interns prop Tony

This is another one that is pretty much the opposite of what would actually happen. First off, the only "intern" Tony has ever interacted with (as far as I'm aware), is Peter Parker. And the only reason Tony bothered with Peter was to exploit Peter. And remember, Tony makes fun of people for his own amusement. So he's more likely to mock an awkward student than encourage them (unless Tony's planning to steal credit for their ideas or hit on them, of course).

Plus, Tony stole from and mistreated enough of SI's actual PAID employees to inspire a gang of villains, so how likely is it that someone there without being paid for it would actually prop Tony? If anything, SI interns who were stuck in a room with Tony are more likely to do tell-alls about how Tony stole ideas from his employees and harassed his workers.

***

Pepper frowned at the small TV in the corner as Christine Everhart smiled at the camera and said, "So, you've heard from three Stark Industries interns so far. All of them have a similar story, how they witnessed Stark Industry EMPLOYEES create technological wonders that Tony Stark himself claims sole credit for. Remember that in tomorrow's show, we'll be hearing from current and former SI employees about their experiences. Including Quentin Beck, a former SI employee who is the actual genius behind the neural interface Tony Stark boasted about in his recent MIT speech."

Everhart lost her Hollywood smile as she said, "This next group of interviews focus on Stark's personal interactions with the young men and women he was supposed to be mentoring. According to these interns, Tony Stark made things VERY personal. Hearing their stories gave me flashbacks to the schoolyard and the way the neighborhood bully would pick on every little quirk and flaw to see you cry."

The frown deepened as Everhart continued, "Until the bully got older and decided that only pretty girls existed and they only existed to service him. I can personally confirm Stark's attitude toward women, if not the actual lines he uses. But you'll get to hear from these young men and women and judge for yourself."

Pepper blinked back tears as she listened to the mocking, come-ons, and innuendos these students experienced while interning at SI. But she was grateful she'd already broke it off with Tony. It made things a lot easier.

Everhart was wrapping up the last interview as she said, "Now all this it sounds like someone should be investigating the goings-on behind the scenes at Stark industries. It turns out that someone is. After our commercial break, we'll hear from CEO Virginia 'Pepper' Potts. She's taking this opportunity to discuss Tony Stark's behavior and the company culture it creates at Stark Industries---and what she plans to do about it."

Pepper stood and smoothed her skirt. She used a tissue to wipe her eyes and confirmed in a mirror that her makeup was okay. She didn't need her list of talking points, but picked them up anyway.

The door opened and Christine Everhart asked, "Are you ready?"

Pepper nodded and stepped to the exit.

As they walked down the hall to the studio, Everhart said, "Thanks for agreeing to come on. I know this can't be easy."

Pepper looked at her and replied, "I appreciate you giving me space to respond before airing the story."

She stopped and continued, "And I feel like I owe you one. I wasn't very gracious when we've met in the past."

Everhart shrugged and said, "Thanks. I apologize as well, but my only excuse is general bitchiness. I'm working on it."

The two women laughed as they moved into the studio to take their seats. Everhart said, "By the way, it seems you can make a case for the problem not being SI, but rather Stark himself. We talked with ALL of SI's interns. The rest enjoyed their time at the company."

Pepper's shoulders relaxed as the camera light came on. At least she knew HER interns had nothing to complain about.


	50. Tony takes care of de-aged Avengers

This "Iron Dad" trope replaces Peter Parker with a variety of de-aged Avengers. And like all prop-Tony stories, the ones that use this trope ignore who Tony actually is: A pretty shoddy adult. He calls Harley a pussy for missing his dad, undermines Peter's self-esteem to make Peter easier to bribe and blackmail, and leaves Morgan unsupervised around weapons. So the likelihood that ANYONE would trust Tony with de-aged Avengers (especially if they have traumas and physical problems) seems slim to none.

*****

Nick Fury regarded Stark with a disbelieving eye. He asked, "What the hell makes you think I'd be dumb enough to leave these kids with YOU?"

Stark waved his hands around as he said, "Because I'd be the PERFECT foster parent. I have space enough for everyone to have their own apartment so they won't be crammed into bunk beds on a military base or whatever shack you're calling a safe house these days. I have ALL the cool toys, and kids and I always get along great."

Maria Hill hid a laugh in a cough as she said, "Thank you for the offer, but we've already made arrangements for the kids to go with Barton. He'll be looking after them until the de-aging spell wears off."

All three adults turned to look at a laughing Hawkeye, who was being climbed by a miniature Natasha and Thor while a tiny Steve sketched the scene as he sat on his shield. Bruce's curly head peeped over the back of a nearby couch as he grinned at his playmates.

Stark scowled and asked, "What's he got that I don't?"

Fury raised an eyebrow and answered, "Well for one thing, a track record that DOESN'T include bribing, blackmailing, or browbeating kids to get what he wants. Or leaving them unsupervised in dangerous situations."

Stark protested, "That was ONE time. Or, well, two. Maybe four...?"

Hill and Fury left Stark rambling as they went to wrangle the mini-superheroes into a quinjet. Hopefully Hawkeye would have an easy stint as a foster dad.

Although seeing mini-Steve juggling his backpack, shield, and Thor's hammer (just to make sure his friend didn't forget it) suggested the time until the de-aging spell wore off would be very interesting...


	51. Tony releases video of Siberia

This is another one of those tropes that proves 1) Prop-Tony writers don't watch the films and 2) Prop-Tony writers make Tony even dumber than he actually is. Tony releasing video of Siberia is one of the most stupid things he could do. Not only is it evidence of him violating the Accords if the location comes out, but the video shows Tony is the one at fault in every single phase of the fight. From the first shot to the last snide remark to Steve, Tony is the aggressor. Steve tries to disable the suit and Bucky tries to get away. Tony is shown shooting the men while they're unarmed; using repulsors, lasers, and missiles in close quarters and attacking the men with every weapon in the suit, even when Steve and Bucky are nowhere near and no threat at all; and show that Tony mutilates Bucky, THEN shoots Bucky in the back and kicks Bucky in the head. So what would be the REAL reaction to Tony's brilliant idea?

***

Tony slouched in his seat on the soundstage, sure he looked his best after the attendant caked on enough make-up to hide decades of drinking and partying. He could see his face on a screen to the side. His smirk looked appropriately smug.

His plan was brilliant. After carefully editing the footage from Siberia, he'd "accidentally" released video of the fight. It showed Tony as both a hero AND a victim, which was pretty hard to pull off.

Now Tony was having his first interview post-release. He would pretend to be both gracious and humble as he secretly cheered the media's tirades against the "unprovoked attacks" of "rogue criminals." It would all be trending on Twitter by this evening, he just knew it.

Of course he'd selected his interviewer based on her looks---she was young and definitely bangable. He'd offer Whatshername a "ride" later. After all, he and Pepper were on a break.

The blonde nodded to him as she sat, then looked to the camera. She said, "We're here live with Iron Man Tony Stark, about to discuss some video that recently set the airwaves on fire. Good afternoon, Mr. Stark."

Tony smiled for the camera and said, "It's Tony, really. Mr. Stark was my way-older Dad."

The blonde said, "So, what do you have to say about the campaign to have you arrested for assault and attempted murder?"

Tony shot up and said, "What the fu---heck are you talking about? The video clearly shows I was the victim of an unprovoked attack." Tony had spent hours in the editing room making sure of it.

The blonde had a little smirk of her own as she replied, "Perhaps that was the impression of the footage that was 'accidentally' released several days ago. While our experts and others confirmed it was footage from your armor's camera feed, they also mentioned how much evidence of tampering the footage showed."

Tony gaped as the blonde turned toward the camera and said, "And now we have what looks to be actual unaltered footage from the mysterious location's surveillance system. That seems to tell a VERY different story."

Tony froze as he saw himself firing the first shots, then scenes of him attacking Barnes when Barnes was running away. The fight lasted a LONG time. He could see how strategic Rogers had been in the attempts to disable the suit. Not that any of that stopped Tony. Both the blonde and Tony winced as they watched Tony laser off Barnes' arm. He felt sick to his stomach as he watched himself shoot Barnes in the back and then kick him in the head. From the angle, Barnes looked dead. You could see desperation in the way Rogers got Tony to lift his hands so Rogers could use the shield to disable the arc reactor. Barnes didn't move until Rogers pulled the man up by his remaining arm and the two soldiers limped toward the exit.

He could hear the snide words in his head as his image on the screen shouted after Rogers. For the first time, he saw Rogers look up and seem to contemplate something, then drop the shield and move on.

Rogers' face held the kind of peace that came from letting go and moving on. Nothing like the anger or bitterness that Tony remembered brewing in his own head when he'd taunted Rogers.

Tony didn't even have that sense of peace now that Tony had won. Or at least he had assumed he'd won. But now... "Where the hell did this come from?"

The blonde turned back to him and answered, "The footage was found with evidence of the REAL Vienna bomber, Sokovian Death Squad officer Helmut Zemo. In fact, the evidence was delivered by persons unknown along with an unconscious Zemo himself."

Tony could feel the make-up cracking and melting as he frowned and began to sweat.

The blonde continued, "All we know so far is that the unredacted footage places you as a rather violent aggressor in your fight with the former Captain America and former POW James Buchanan Barnes. Experts are speculating that the fight was NOT on U.S. soil. Secretary Thaddeus Ross has confirmed that NO Avengers had authorization to leave the country for any reason. He has stated that if the location is confirmed to be across international boundaries, that---and I quote---'Iron Man will be confined in the same conditions as any other Accords violator'. Which has raised questions about just what those conditions are, as several former Avengers seem to have disappeared since surrendering at the Leipzig Airport."

All Tony had in his head was static. How could his perfect plan have gone so wrong?

The blonde glanced to the camera, then back to Tony as she asked, "So Tony, what do have to say for yourself?"


	52. Ichigo Kurosaki props Tony

This is another "random character from random non-MCU fandom props Tony" trope. Ichigo Kurosaki is a character from an anime called "Bleach." I feel sorry for the fans of this character, because from his description I don't think he is as malicious and spiteful as he appears to be when he's a prop-Tony trope. From what I've read, Ichigo Kurosaki would NEVER prop the man who blackmailed Peter Parker into becoming a child soldier and did nothing after seeing Wanda in a shock collar and straitjacket. Plus, the story using this trope has Ichigo as Tony's personal assistant. Considering how Tony treats everyone on his payroll, it's likely Tony would mock Ichigo for his distinctive orange hair. And Ichigo would see first-hand why Stark Industries employees dislike Tony so much. How would Kurosaki Ichigo REALLY act in this scenario?

Note: I've never seen the show, so Ichigo's probably out of character.

*****

"Hey you, low-rent CarrotTop, where's my smoothie?" Stark asked as he waved his hand around the armor of his latest suit.

Kurosaki Ichigo gritted his teeth as he walked over with a glass full of a slimy green concoction. He didn't spit in the drink as he handed it over to his boss. Ichigo asked, "Anything else, sir?"

Stark put the smoothie in the hand of the armor and said, "Yeah, there's a bunch of forms and stuff Pepper wanted me to review. BORING. Friday's not up to speed on everything yet, so you can read all of it and give me the bullet points."

Ichigo nodded. Before he could ask about a timeline, Stark continued, "Pepper wanted my response yesterday or something, so I'll need you to wrap that up before you leave."

Ichigo's jaw dropped. There were hundreds of pages of reports that Stark was supposed to have read at least a week ago. Apparently Ichigo's daily reminders had been ignored. He couldn't say he was surprised. Even though Ichigo had glanced at everything as he'd organized in Stark's files, it would take Ichigo most of the night to fulfill that demand.

Too bad if Ichigo had other plans.

Stark was already focused on whatever piece he was adjusting as he said, "Order me some sushi from that place---you know the one. And they don't do delivery OR refunds so make sure to check the order when you pick it up. Fill up all of the coffeemakers so they're set to brew. The 'bots just can't grind the beans right. And before I forget, fire the laundryperson who got a bleach spot on my favorite AC/DC shirt. Apparently some people have no respect for vintage concertwear. If there's any backtalk, remind the manager how easy it would be to switch the Stark Tower account to another company."

Ichigo swallowed and wondered if Stark would check up on the firing. Maybe Ichigo could get away with letting that person keep their job. 

Stark said, "When you get back with dinner, I'm going to give you a list of locations to leak to Thunderbolt Ross. Just places where he might want to station some squads to pick up members of Team Crap." 

Ichigo froze. He said, "I thought they were your colleagues?" 

Stark actually stepped away from the armor to sneer as he said, "They BETRAYED me. They deserve to rot."

Ichigo wanted to shake his head. He'd seen the footage as he hacked into Stark's system from the inside. The "betrayal" was refusing to sign the Accords. He couldn't figure out why Stark was taking that so personally. It's not like Stark was the one who would have been forced to submit his DNA or wear a tracker. 

He couldn't hide his frown. Stark also wasn't the one who'd been locked up with no access to lawyers or even sunlight.

Stark scowled at Ichigo and said, "Listen Cactus Head, do I need to remind you just how hard I can make it for you to find another job?"

Ichigo shook his head and answered, "No, sir. I'll get started on the reports."

As he walked to his desk, Ichigo realized that he would have to push up his timeline. He couldn't use any of his abilities on Stark in case Stark set Thaddeus Ross on Ichigo for being an unregistered Enhanced. But Ichigo could make sure that all of Stark's own hacking into government and private databases and Stark's violations of the Accords became public knowledge. After Ichigo made sure to erase all of Stark's information on the possible movements of the former Captain America and his allies.

Ichigo shuddered. No way was he letting ANYONE be sent back to the Raft. Nor would he let ANYONE touch the Barton children. The Black Widow had gotten the family away from Ross. Ichigo would make sure they stayed safe. And Ichigo would have to erase all the footage of that Parker kid as well. Good thing Stark was already ignoring the kid now that Parker was no longer any use to him. Ichigo would have to contact Parker and warn him to cut all ties with Stark and lay low during the upcoming chaos.

He dropped into his chair with a nod. He'd set the files to leak to the press while he was out picking up the sushi. He'd take Stark's order home and eat it all himself as he emailed his resignation. Ichigo deserved a treat after putting up with Stark for weeks. What a creep.

Ichigo smiled. If nothing else, this new plan would save Ichigo from having to fire someone---or having to read all those reports. He hated paperwork.

**Author's Note:**

> Rec list updated Dec. 21, 2019!
> 
> Visit the [Team Cap rec list](https://gibbs-yeah.dreamwidth.org/) for a list of fics that DON'T bash Team Cap!
> 
> If you know of a fic you'd like to see on the rec list, mention it in a comment on this fic and I'll add it.


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